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If God created us in His image we have certainly returned the compliment.
-- Voltaire Why yes -- a bulletproof vest.
-- James Rodges, murderer, on his final request before the firing squad Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and
hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in
Heaven.
-- P. J "A thing of beauty is a joy forever." (John Keats) "People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Internet Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx Virtue is like health: the harmony of the whole man.
-- Thomas Carlyle Internet
Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
-- Peter Ustinov To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
-- Tom Robbins Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
-- Henry Ford "Goodwill is the only asset that competition cannot undersell or destroy." (Mrshall Field, businessman and philanthropist) The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov Internet That's the nature of research--you don't know what in hell you're doing.
-- 'Doc' Edgerton Oregon Democratic Senate candidate Tom Bruggere, in describing his support for
comprehensive health care during a candidates' forum, said he supported "erection-to-
resurrection" coverage. He later a "One pretty good definition of college is that it's a place where people are made to read difficult books." (Jonathan Franzen) Internet
It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
-- Alec Bourne, A Doctor's Creed You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
-- John Ciardi I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.
-- Mark B. Cohen Internet "It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.
-- Mark Twain Internet
If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis Go away...I'm alright.
-- H. G. Wells, dying words Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
-- Albert Einstein Internet Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche I am not young enough to know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde The story of a love is not important - what is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps
the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity.
-- Helen Hayes Internet
Where there is love there is life.
-- Gandhi "When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost." (Billy Graham) "Marriage excuses no one the freak's roll-call." (Joe Orton, What the Butler Saw) Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.
-- George Orwell Remember your dreams.
-- Maryanne Radmacher-Herhey Internet "I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower."
"Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!"
-- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.
-- W. Somerset Maugham A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
-- Anonymous Internet
Honor lies in honest toil.
-- Grover Cleveland An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
-- Niels Bohr A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
-Robert Frost (1874-1963) If the headache would only precede the intoxication, alcoholism would be a virtue.
-- Samuel Butler People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor Internet "A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." (Roald Dahl) Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Internet
My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-- H. L. Mencken Property may be destroyed and money may lose its purchasing power; but, character, health,
knowledge and good judgement will always be in demand under all conditions.
-- Roger Babson "The overman ... Who has organized the chaos of his passions, given style to his character, and become creative. Aware of life's terrors, he affirms life without resentment." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietz A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.
-- James Reston Internet Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.
-- H. L. Mencken The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell Internet
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage,
he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
-- Helen Roland You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
-- Yogi Berra "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been
widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams Internet The real questions are the ones that obtrude upon your consciousness whether you like it or not,
the ones that make your mind start vibrating like a jackhammer, the ones that you 'come to terms
with "You believe that flag burning shows disrespect towards those who have fought to preserve our freedoms. Punishing protestors shows an even more profound disrespect for the ideals that these people die Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words Internet
The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones Honor the ocean of love.
-- George de Benneville I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again.
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show Where there is love there is life.
-- Gandhi "Ugliness is in a way superior to beauty because it lasts." (Serge Gainsbourg) Internet When you are right, you cannot be too radical; When you are wrong, you cannot be too
conservative.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anon. He would make a lovely corpse.
- Charles Dickens Internet
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
-- Marvin Kitman We didn't send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us.
-- Kent York, Baptist minister to US Rep. Bill Sarpalius Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
-- Aldous Huxley The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy Courage: doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
-- Eddie Rickenbacker Internet "When thou art at Rome, do as they do at Rome." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
- Jean-Paul Sartre There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor Internet
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be
feasible.
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper prop That's the nature of research--you don't know what in hell you're doing.
-- 'Doc' Edgerton The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
-- Margo Kaufman Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa Internet Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) "I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand." (Confucius, 551 BC-479) "No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." (Calvin Coolidge) Internet
