The Church is an organism that grows best in an alien society.
-- C. Stacey Woods Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best
to become the best you are capable of becoming.
-- John R. Wooden, Practical Modern Basketball I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein What a difference there is between what we say and what we think.
-- Racine Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln Comics If a thing is worth doing at all, it is worth doing badly.
-- Gustav Holst, on amateur music-making The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical
deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein "The biggest argument against democracy is a five minute discussion with the average voter." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) Comics
"We already have the statistics for the future: the growth percentages of pollution, overpopulation, desertification. The future is already in place." (Günther Grass, Winner of the Nobel Prize for Li I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
-- Gore Vidal Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
- H. M. Warner, founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927 Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best
to become the best you are capable of becoming.
-- John R. Wooden, Practical Modern Basketball Comics Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. Comics
blah "Each friend represents a world in us; a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only in meeting them that a new world is born." (Anais Nin) "I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or
failure has been dependent on the one he used most.
-- George R. Kirkpatrick "Whether it is a black cat or a white cat, as long as it can catch the rat, it is a good cat." (Deng Xiao Ping) I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
-- Jules Renard Comics "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am.
-- Samuel Johnson Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.
-- George Bernard Shaw Comics
Keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.
-- Roger Babson He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that.
-- John Stuart Mill "I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower."
"Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!"
-- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person
must be fired.
-- Conway's Law Comics Give the people not hell, but hope and courage.
-- John Murray The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
-- Paul Ehrlich When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.
-- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed Comics
Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
-- George Santayana Wit is educated insolence.
- Aristotle Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins He who awaits much can expect little.
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez Question: Ted Kennedy: "Where was George?"
Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife Comics If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking.
-- George S. Patton, Jr. All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
-- Charlie Chaplin "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) Comics
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
-- Douglas Adams Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow Where there is an unknowable there is a promise.
-- Thornton Wilder A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.
-- George E. Woodberry Comics Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
-- General Douglas MacArthur I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked
me in the cellar.
-- Anonymous Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz Comics
"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." (George Bernard Shaw) Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
- Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943 "Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." (Native American Proverb) Comics "If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world." (Blaise Pascal) "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." (George Carlin) Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-- T.S. Eliot Comics
There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and
why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inex There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's
age.
-- Modern Maturity As for the virtuous poor, one can pity them, of course, but one cannot possibly admire them.
-- Oscar Wilde Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber Biography lends to death a new terror.
-- Oscar Wilde Comics A dollar saved is a quarter earned.
-- John Ciardi Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings "If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair." (Samuel Johnson) Comics
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford "Feeding is a very important ritual for me. I don't trust people who don't like to eat." (Gina Gershon) There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say -- unless you insist on saying it.
-- Anonymous Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house. "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." (Andy Warhol) Comics "If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." (Napoleon Bonaparte) "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry Comics
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen.
-- Albert Einstein "A wise man among the ignorant is as a beautiful girl in the company of blind men." (Saadi) After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
-- Anonymous I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
- John F. Kennedy when asked what is his favorite song Comics We can never be sure that the opinion we are endeavoring to stifle is a false opinion; and if we
were sure, stifling it would be an evil still.
-- John Stuart Mill Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of
humor is just common sense, dancing.
-- Clive James "I have no special gift; I am only passionately curious." (Albert Einstein) Comics
The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones Grow old with me! The best is yet to be!
-- Robert Browning Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have
had any experience with them.
-- H. L. Mencken I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.
-- Vincent Van Gogh Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M. C. Reed Comics Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde "Some people must go to extremes to get the world in balance for themselves. Some can't bear bright lights, so wherever they go they search for the dark; they turn the lights down, anything to sustain A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.
-- Edward Abbey Comics
