Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante "Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." (Erica Jong) "Plato was a bore." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Question: Ted Kennedy: "Where was George?"
Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife ... it is certain that the real function of art is to increase our self-consciousness; to make us more
aware of what we are, and therefore of what the universe in which we live really is. And since
Theatre "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone) Theatre
The best defense is a good offense.
-- Anonymous What's new? Most of my wife. When people have no other tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it
prevents you from achieving.
-- Russell Green Theatre Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
-- Tom Robbins The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher "Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts." (Henry B. Adams) Theatre
The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to
heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need
more supervision.
-- Lynn "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright Theatre The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.
-- Robert M. Pirsig Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
-- Oscar Wilde Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings Theatre
Chance is always powerful. - Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it,
there will be a fish.
-- Ovid Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs. Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart "A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
-- Euripides Theatre A dollar saved is a quarter earned.
-- John Ciardi All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle Theatre
"A friendship that exacts oneness of opinion and conduct is not worth much." (Mohandas Gandhi, In Search of the Supreme) Tauzin backs term limits -- But he thinks it's a bad idea.
-- Headline, story in the New Orleans Times-Picayune, Feb 20, 1995 I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen Virtue is like health: the harmony of the whole man.
-- Thomas Carlyle The mathematician lives long and lives young; the wings of his soul do not early drop off, nor do
its pores become clogged with the earthy particles blown from the dusty highways of vulgar life.
-- Theatre As for courage and will - we cannot measure how much of each lies within us, we can only trust
there will be sufficient to carry through trials which may lie ahead.
-- Andre Norton I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.
- A. J. Liebling UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Theatre
When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
-- Anatole France Sex is God's joke on human beings.
-- Bette Davis "See - one side of my face is gentle and kind, incapable of anything but love of my fellow man. The other side, the other profile, is cruel and predatory and evil, incapable of anything but lusts and I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
-- Douglas Adams "When I was four years old they tried to test my IQ, they showed me this picture of three oranges and a pear. They asked me which one is different and does not belong, they taught me different was wro Theatre Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parent, gobble their food, and tyrannize their
teachers.
-- Socrates Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes
some method of fortifying the human soul and enabline it to make its peace with its destiny.
-- George "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) Theatre
Wind is to fire like distance is to love; it extinguishes the small and enflames the great.
-- Anonymous May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more
experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat
soiled or torn? The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing
extraordinary It's no credit to anyone to work to hard.
-- Ed Howe Theatre I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney They had a dispute about a night out with the boys. But he finally decided to let her go.
-- Anonymous "True friends, like diamonds, are precious and rare. False friends, like autumn leaves, are found everywhere." (Anonymous) Theatre
Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
-- Patricia Sampson Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to
realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and
grie It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
- Albert Einstein Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is Your every voter, as surely as your chief magistrate, exercises a public trust.
-- Grover Cleveland Theatre Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
- Oscar Wilde Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death Theatre
"The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way
around Chinatown.
-- Woody Allen In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.
-- Christopher Morley Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind. Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Theatre I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-- Will Rogers Theatre
No race can prosper till it learns that there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem.
-- Booker T. Washington I am ready at any time. Do not keep me waiting.
-- John Brown - last words Grove giveth and Gates taketh away.
- Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep
up with software demands May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm
upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again, may God hold you in
the palm Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
-- Benjamin Franklin Theatre Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.
-- Billy Sunday The love we give away is the only love we keep.
-- Elbert Hubbard Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.
- Paul Erdos Theatre
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. My father was a minister. I had to make up for the lack of sin.
-- Milwuakee mayor, on why he became a politician Our schools have been scientifically designed to prevent over-education from happening. [...] The
average American (should be) content with their humble role in life, because they're not tempted
to Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin Theatre "The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones." (William Shakespeare, Julius Cæsar. Act iii. Sc. 2.) The only weapon that becomes sharper with constant use is the tongue.
-- Anonymous Marriage is an institution--but who wants to live in an institution? Theatre
