Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.
-- Winston Churchill "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone) Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the
uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde Hardware Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
-- Paul Boese "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Be willing to make decisions. That's the most important quality in a good leader. Don't fall victim
to what I call the 'ready-aim-aim-aim-aim syndrome.' You must be willing to fire.
-- Gen. George Hardware
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
-- Gloria Steinem We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind
her stands his wife.
-- Groucho Marx You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec Keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.
-- Roger Babson "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Hardware He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.
-- Terry Cohen "I had discovered that a person does not have to be this or be that or be anything, not even oneself. One is free." (Walker Percy, The Moviegoer) The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard Hardware
"No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
- Isaac Asimov blah "Each friend represents a world in us; a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only in meeting them that a new world is born." (Anais Nin) Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage,
he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
-- Helen Roland "A wise man among the ignorant is as a beautiful girl in the company of blind men." (Saadi) Hardware blah "It is a grand mistake to think of being great without goodness and I pronounce it as certain that there was never a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous." (Benjamin Fran If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
-- George Gobel Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous Hardware
"The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason." (John Cage) Thank God - every morning when you get up - that you have something to do which must be
done, whether you like it or not. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you
a hundre Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-- Anonymous In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun Hardware Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
-- David Starr Jordan "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) Hardware
Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais "One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Go away...I'm alright.
-- H. G. Wells, dying words And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-- Abraham Lincoln When you are right, you cannot be too radical; When you are wrong, you cannot be too
conservative.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Hardware "Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-- Robert Frost Hardware
Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." (Edger Allen Poe) It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Mark Twain If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.
-- Pope John Paul I "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." (Albert Einstein) Hardware "Those who hear not the music think the dancers mad." (Anonymous) Keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.
-- Roger Babson "A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Hardware
"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
-- Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay Jealousy is the only vice that gives no pleasure.
-- Anonymous "We have so little presumption that we should like to be known in the world, even to those who come after when we are no more. We have so little vanity that the esteem of five people, say six, amuses "See - one side of my face is gentle and kind, incapable of anything but love of my fellow man. The other side, the other profile, is cruel and predatory and evil, incapable of anything but lusts and Hardware Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each
other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's
nerves There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for.
-- Fred Hoyle Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg Hardware
"The rules for parents are but three... Love, Limit, and Let them be." (Elaine M. Ward) If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile.
-- Lynda Barry The great tragedy of science, the slaying of a beautiful theory by an ugly fact.
-- Thomas Henry Huxley "Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." (Paul Boese) Hardware Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss, on conducting At the bottom no one in life can help anyone else in life; this one experiences over and over in
every conflict and every perplexity: that one is alone. That isn't as bad as it may first appear; and None but a good man is really a living man, and the more good any man does, the more he really
lives. All the rest is death, or belongs to it.
-- Herman Melville Hardware
Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer May you be too good for the world and not good enough for your wife. Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
-- Albert Einstein I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.
- A. J. Liebling Hardware There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics a "Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
-- Samuel Johnson Hardware
If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple, learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a
dozen.
-- John Steinbeck "Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
-- Woody Allen The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!
-- Mark Russell Hardware Luck is the residue of design.
- Branch Rickey - former owner of the Brooklyn Dodger Baseball Team The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.
-- Virginia Woolf I hate women because they always know where things are.
-- James Thurber Hardware
With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat
people.
-- Ed Bluestone Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
-- Aldous Huxley There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Gandhi Hardware Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-- Anonymous A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor Hardware
