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Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair Watching the debate this afternoon it was apparent they loved term limits in the House -- as
Brutus loved Caesar.
-- Bill Moyers Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a
madhouse.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. Guides and Directories "I do not suppose I shall be remembered for anything. But I don't think about my work in those terms. It is just as vulgar to work for the sake of posterity as to work for the sake of money." (George Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love.
-- French saying Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck Guides and Directories
"Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them." (Samuel Butler) "A man must dream a long time in order to act with grandeur, and dreaming is nursed in darkness." (Jean Genet) I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard The executive exists to make sensible exceptions to general rules.
-- Elting E. Morison A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.
Harry S. Truman Guides and Directories It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
-- Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
-- Gloria Steinem Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-- Oscar Wilde Guides and Directories
Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.
-- Samuel Johnson To take what there "is", and use it, without waiting forever in vain for the preconceived - to dig
deep into the actual and get something out of that - this doubtless is the right way to live.
-- H To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
-- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
-- Aldous Huxley "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you." (Francois Sagan) Guides and Directories "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) A behaviorist is someone who pulls habits out of rats.
-- Anonymous Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved.
-- D.H. Lawrence Guides and Directories
If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be
closed for any other business.
-- Abraham Lincoln Logic is in the eye of the logician.
- Gloria Steinem A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.
-- James Reston We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) Guides and Directories I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
-- Anonymous Guides and Directories
Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.
-- American Proverb A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What
do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with ano A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II Guides and Directories Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.
-- Edward H. Land Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
-- Hector Louis Berlioz I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me
is another matter.
- Sir Winston Churchill Guides and Directories
Whatever women do they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this
is not difficult.
-- Charlotte Whitton People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard "Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one." (Vladimir Nabokov) The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly Guides and Directories "One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error
that provoked it.
-- Alvin Toffler "A thing of beauty is a joy forever." (John Keats) Guides and Directories
"A friendship that exacts oneness of opinion and conduct is not worth much." (Mohandas Gandhi, In Search of the Supreme) I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
-- John Cage The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind
woman.
-- S. T. Coleridge The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without
the sympathy of the community.
-- William James "Have you ever fed your pocket and starved your soul?" (Ivana Santilli, Too Deep) Guides and Directories "It is neccessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live." (Alexander Dumas) Love is an attempt to change a piece of the dream-world into reality.
-- Theodor Reik He who laughs, lasts.
-- Mary Pettibone Poole Guides and Directories
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing
changes and yet everything is completely different.
-- Aldous Huxley "God is Man's stupidest idea." (Marcel Duchamp, French Dadaist) A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.
-- Michael Winner Guides and Directories Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
-- Anonymous I've been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years. The limits of my language means the limits of my world.
-- Ludwig Wittgenstein Guides and Directories
Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.
-- Byrd Baggett Marry in haste, repent in leisure.
-- Tilney Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the
time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard Guides and Directories In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been
widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW Hardly a year passes that fails to find a new, oft-times exotic, research method or technique
added to the armamentarium of political inquiry. Anyone who cannot negotiate Chi squares,
assess randomi Guides and Directories
"The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning, but without understanding." (Louis Brandeis) Beauty as we feel it is something indescribable; what it is or what it means can never be said.
-- George Santayana Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
-- Bob Perelman I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used.
-- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. Guides and Directories We know the truth, not only by the reason, but also by the heart.
-- Blaise Pascal, Thoughts, Chap. x. 1., Translated by O. W. Wight Ridicule is generally made use of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking
everything praiseworthy in human life.
-- Joseph Addison Experience is the name every one gives his mistakes.
-- Elbert Hubbard Guides and Directories
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
-- Ernest Hemingway "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
-- Samuel Butler Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) Guides and Directories "... and then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." (Anais Nin) Laundry increases exponentially in the number of children.
-- Miriam Robbins blah "There is a melancholy that stems from greatness." (Sébastien-Roch Nicolas Chamfort, 1740/41-1794) Guides and Directories
