LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power
so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but
newspapers.
-- Thomas Jefferson For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
-- Clifton Fadiman As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are
certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein Religion Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
-- Anonymous Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately
becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in
those tiny toil Religion
When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.
-- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed "Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) "Genius without education is like silver in the mine." (Benjamin Franklin) A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
-- Buke Ellington Marriage is like a cage--one sees the birds outside desperate to get in and those inside equally
desparate to get out.
-- Di Peatlins Religion Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
-- Oscar Wilde [You reporters] should have printed what he meant, not what he said.
-- Earl Bush, press aide to Richard Daley "Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows it?" (Alec Guinness) Religion
>From error to error one discovers the entire truth.
-- Sigmund Freud You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or
play.
-- WARREN BEATTY An economic forecaster is like a cross-eyed javelin thrower: they don't win many accuracy
contests, but they keep the crowd's attention.
-- Anonymous Who, being loved, is poor?
-- Oscar Wilde "The face is the soul of the body." (Ludwig Wittgenstein) Religion Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in
freedom.
-- Albert Einstein Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
-- Anonymous Religion
"Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987 We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind
her stands his wife.
-- Groucho Marx Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to
happen to him.
-- John Barrymore - last words The absolute yearning of one human body for another particular body and its indifference to
substitutes is one of life's major mysteries.
-- Iris Murdoch Religion We have been friends together in sunshine and in shade.
-- Caroline Norton The coziness between church and state is good for the state and bad for the church.
-- G. K. Chesterton Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else does and thinking something
different.
-- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, 1937 Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine Religion
He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
-- Anonymous The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this
is true.
-- James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion "The purpose of Compulsory Education is to deprive the common people of their commonsense." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Emerson, Ralph Waldo "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) Religion Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
-- G. K. Chesterton "I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending that haunts our sleep so much as the fear ... that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived." (Rabbi H Religion
Experience teaches only the teachable.
-- Aldous Huxley There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's
age.
-- Modern Maturity It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
-- Abraham Lincoln His ignorance is encyclopedic
- Abba Eban What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln Religion Many a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir'n hand is careful to take off
his shoes in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night.
-- Finley Peter Dunne, Mr. Dooley O The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing.
Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands.
-- Oscar Wilde I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
-- Francois-Auguste Rodin, when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues Religion
"Conforming is only acceptable when you conform with a nonconformist." (John A. Simone Jr.) Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton The health of the people is really the foundation upon which all their happiness and all their
powers as a State depend.
-- Benjamin Disraeli If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister? Religion A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
- Helen Rowland Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.
-- George E. Woodberry Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Religion
Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
-- Virginia Woolf Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
-- G. K. Chesterton "Sometimes I think it's another sign of the sad necessity of our crowded, lonely lives, an urgent hopeless reaching out to touch something real, a deep hunger for something authentic when everything s The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Emerson, Ralph Waldo Religion Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell Marriage is the one subject on which all women agree and all men disagree.
-- Oscar Wilde "Dreams are the touchstones of our personality." (Henry David Thoreau) Religion
In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
-- André Maurois The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but
newspapers.
-- Thomas Jefferson One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is
terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell
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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton I find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and
read a book.
-- Groucho Marx Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
-- Lisa Hoffman Religion More light!
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, dying words "I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats." (Woody Allen, in regard to the KKK) When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
-- Buckminster Religion
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
-- Virginia Woolf We think caged birds sing, when indeed they cry.
-- John Webster "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) Religion I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
-- Jules Renard A man's reach should exeed his grasp, or else what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
-- Nancy Mitford Religion
Journalism is merely history's first draft.
-- Geoffrey C. Ward "An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.
-- Sophocles Oregon Democratic Senate candidate Tom Bruggere, in describing his support for
comprehensive health care during a candidates' forum, said he supported "erection-to-
resurrection" coverage. He later a "I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats." (Woody Allen, in regard to the KKK) Religion "What is tolerance? -- it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other's folly -- that is the first law of nature." (Francois Marie Ar A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
-- Anonymous "Excellence is in the details. Give attention to the details and excellence will come." (Perry Paxton) Religion
