They had a dispute about a night out with the boys. But he finally decided to let her go.
-- Anonymous I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.
-- Anne Bradstreet "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but
as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 Guides and Directories A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
- Sir Winston Churchill The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about "short" and
"cheap"?
-- Phyllis Diller Guides and Directories
In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to
take away.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.
-- Alphonse Karr The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. -- S. T. Coleridge Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset Guides and Directories Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
-- Anon. Guides and Directories
I am beginning to suspect all elaborate and special systems of education. They seem to me to be
built upon the supposition that every child is a kind of idiot who must be taught to think.
-- Anne S "In every gathering of thirteen, expect one guest will turn out to be a Judas." (Aleister Crowley) In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based "A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
-- Virginia Woolf Guides and Directories For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.
-- Simeon Strunsky I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat
people.
-- Ed Bluestone Guides and Directories
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford It was just him and me. He fought with honor. If it weren't for his honor, he and the others would
have beaten me together. They might have killed me, then. His sense of honor saved my life. I
didn' "We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police." (Jeff Marder) Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
- Mark Twain He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose
-- Jim Elliott Guides and Directories "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) "A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh Guides and Directories
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
-- Buckminster There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of
bread.
- Mahatma Gandhi A witty saying proves nothing.
- Voltaire In times of profound change, the learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves
beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.
-- Al Rogers, Global SchoolHouse Netw "By seeing the seed of failure in every success, we remain humble. By seeing the seed of success in every failure we remain hopeful." (Mel Ziegler, founder of Banana Republic) Guides and Directories Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a
brand new ending.
-- Anonymous Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death "Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." (Dylan Thomas) Guides and Directories
May you never leave your marriage alive. Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror.
-- Byrd Baggett "So little done, so much to do." (Cecil Rhodes) Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
-- Anonymous Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. Guides and Directories The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers "I always thought a dog-lover was a dog who loved another dog." (James Thurber) You can observe a lot by watching.
-- Yogi Berra Guides and Directories
Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
-- Marx Groucho, the film "Animal Crackers" Happy are those who dream dreams and are willing to pay the price to make them come true.
-- Anon. "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
- General George Patton Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
-- Oscar Wilde Guides and Directories A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
-- Sidney Goff If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
-- George Gobel The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live Guides and Directories
Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is
not read.
-- Oscar Wilde "Some people must go to extremes to get the world in balance for themselves. Some can't bear bright lights, so wherever they go they search for the dark; they turn the lights down, anything to sustain The only thing you take with you when you're gone is what you leave behind.
-- John Allston Tauzin backs term limits -- But he thinks it's a bad idea.
-- Headline, story in the New Orleans Times-Picayune, Feb 20, 1995 Guides and Directories Age does not make us childish, as some say; it finds us true children.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "I'll tell you something: Luxury disgusts me." (Giorgio Armani) Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from
both sides.
-- Margaret Thatcher Guides and Directories
I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn't wear fur coats those
little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born or to have lived When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest till it has gained a hearing.
-- Sigmund Freud Guides and Directories Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e "Excellence is in the details. Give attention to the details and excellence will come." (Perry Paxton) Guides and Directories
"What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.
-- Josephus Daniels Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
-- Jim Beggs May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. "I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) Guides and Directories Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
-- Paul Boese Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde Guides and Directories
The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
-- Publilius Syrus The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
-- Kin Hubbard Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx Such is life.
-- Ned Kelly, Last words, before being hung at Old Melbourne Gaol blah bla "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough." (Albert Einstein) Guides and Directories It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.
-- Mae West "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) Ninety percent of the game is half mental.
-- Yogi Berra Guides and Directories
