May you never leave your marriage alive. "One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people's lives without having to pay the price. I've never been one of those actors who has touted myself as a fascinating human being. I If we do not maintain Justice, Justice will not maintain us.
-- Francis Bacon "Ninety percent of my salary I spent on booze and women ... and the other ten percent I wasted." (Tug McGraw, Major League Baseball pitcher) Education is the state-controlled manufacture of echoes.
-- Norman Douglas Oviedo You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
-- Al Capone "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (George Sanders, suicide note) Oviedo
Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
-- Irwin Corey He who awaits much can expect little.
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story "I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand." (Confucius, 551 BC-479) Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell Oviedo I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin "If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change." (John A. Simone Sr.) The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones Oviedo
Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions.
-- Anonymous Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." (Bible, Proverbs 16:24) In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been
widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams "Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts." (Henry B. Adams) Oviedo There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's
being off the network.
-- Guy Almes With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer "Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) Oviedo
My father was a minister. I had to make up for the lack of sin.
-- Milwuakee mayor, on why he became a politician The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
-- Abraham Lincoln Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
-- Anon. Oviedo Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald "I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence." (Edger Allen Poe) He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.
-- Confucius Oviedo
"I don't believe people die. They just go uptown. To Bloomingdales. They just take longer to get back." (Andy Warhol) "It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books--what other men do not say in whole books." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols) I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor "A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." (Roald Dahl) The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
-- Frank J. Dobie, A Texan in England, 1945 Oviedo blah "The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its being read." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) The church must be the critic and guide of the state, and never its tool.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. Oviedo
Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
-- Colin Greene May you grow so rich your widow's second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. "They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." (Andy Warhol) When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up
something appropriate and do it.
-- E. W. Howe Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same
direction.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry Oviedo The artist alone sees spirits. But after he has told of their appearing to him, everybody sees them.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy blah "Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure." (Thomas Alva Edison) Oviedo
The mistakes are all waiting to be made.
- chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) on the game's opening position "One of the great dangers in having a career is getting bored." (Itzhak Perlman) Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Gustav Jung Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to
take away.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery Oviedo "Fear is the dark room where the Devil develops his negatives." (Gary Busey) The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing.
Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands.
-- Oscar Wilde Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V Oviedo
If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a
philosopher.
- Socrates We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
- General Douglas MacArthur Oviedo I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." (Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom) Oviedo
Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to
vote for Colonel Sanders.
-- Bob Inglis, 1995 I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like
a black mistake.
-- D. H. Lawrence "The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n "I'm the artist formally known as Beck. I have a genius wig. When I put that wig on, then the true genius emerges. I don't have enough hair to be a genius. I think you have to have hair going everywhe Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an
automobile.
-- Billy Sunday Oviedo If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
- J. Paul Getty Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked
me in the cellar.
-- Anonymous Oviedo
If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.
-- Chekhov This compact disc is made from analog masters recorded without noise reduction. Half the tracks,
in fact, were recorded in a dismal, cheap basement eight-track studio with puddles of water on
the fl I don't want everyone to like me; I should think less of myself if some people did.
-- Henry James He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
- H. H. Munro (Saki) "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Oviedo Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my usual manner...sulking and nausea.
-- Tom K. Ryan Oviedo
True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.
-- Henry David Thoreau Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
- George Burns Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of
existence.
-- Sydney Smith Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe There are many things worth living for, there are a few things worth dying for, but there is nothing
worth killing for.
-- Tom Robbins Oviedo "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) "Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper." (Larry Flynt) Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions.
-- Anonymous Oviedo
