A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband. I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- Irvin S. Cobb He that would have the fruit must climb the tree.
-- Thomas Fuller, M.D. Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Menorca Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
- Lucille S. Harper Menorca
A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.
-- Christopher Morley Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.
-- Mae West If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright Live out of your imagination, not your history.
-- Stephen Covey Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
-- Stephen Leacock Menorca Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais blah "You shall find out how salt is the taste of another man's bread, and how hard is the way up and down another man's stairs." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement.
-- Cousin Woodman Menorca
A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how
to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy "People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Menorca Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon When you're experimenting you have to try so many things before you choose what you want,
and you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion.
-- Fred Astaire Menorca
A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his
cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
Uncl Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.
-- John Tudor Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions.
-- John Randolph "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck." (George Sanders, suicide note) Menorca You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing.
Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands.
-- Oscar Wilde True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is
always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsch Menorca
We can say 'Peace on Earth,' we can sing about it, preach about it or pray about it, but if we have
not internalized the mythology to make it happen inside us, then it will not be.
-- Betty Shabazz Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins "Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes." (Oscar Wilde) Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add
up.
-- Anon If God had meant us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Menorca blah bl "Less is more." (Robert Browning) Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-- Anonymous Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. -- Ken Dodd Menorca
In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is
simply one of those things which happen from time to time.
-- Edward P. Tryon Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
-- Oscar Wilde In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer "A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) Menorca A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Integrity is what we do, what we say, and what we say we do.
--Don Galer "Gifts must affect the receiver to the point of shock." (Walter Benjamin) Menorca
Love means to love that which is unlovable; or it is no virtue at all.
-- G. K. Chesterton Experience is the name every one gives his mistakes.
-- Elbert Hubbard "Fear is the dark room where the Devil develops his negatives." (Gary Busey) Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
- Richard Bach Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner Menorca 'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
-- Alfred, Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam, 1850, line 27, stanza 4 Author: A fool, who, not content with having bored those who have lived with him, insists on
tormenting the generations to come.
-- Montesquieu The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be Menorca
"It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books--what other men do not say in whole books." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols) Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.
-- Benjamin Franklin When one find's oneself in a hole of one's own making, it is a good time to examine the quality of
the workmanship.
-- John Renmerde He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-- Gore Vidal Menorca "If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." (Albert Einstein) Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-- Woody Allen Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and
begin slitting throats.
- Henry Louis Mencken Menorca
"The brighter you are, the more you have to learn." (Don Herold) A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There
are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's
reall "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- Henry Louis Mencken Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Menorca It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
- Aristotle Truth can be a dangerous thing. It is quite patient and relentless.
-- R. Scott Richards "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) Menorca
For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
-- Albert Einstein Every flower must grow through dirt.
-- Anonymous One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is
terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell
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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde Menorca Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
-- Groucho Marx "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) It is a product of Einstein's genius -- taking a commonplace observation, combining it with some
simple imaginary experiments, and arriving at a revolutionary conclusion.
-- Clifford M. Wills, 1986 Menorca
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz And life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be.
-- Grandma Moses I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.... This is an ex-parrot.
-- John Cleese, Monty Python, British comedy television show If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war.
-- Pentagon official, on why US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer Menorca Practice random acts of kindness and sensless acts of beauty.
-- Adair Lara "In literary criticism the critic has no choice but to make over the victim of his attention into something the size and shape of himself." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Do you not know, my son, with what little understanding the world is ruled?
-- Pope Julius III Menorca
