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Oregon Democratic Senate candidate Tom Bruggere, in describing his support for
comprehensive health care during a candidates' forum, said he supported "erection-to-
resurrection" coverage. He later a If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised.
-- Dorothy Parker "Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills." (Minna Antrim) Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness
are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser
tha Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- Wernher Von Braun Education Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window.
You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
-- Jean Ke "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) When you're experimenting you have to try so many things before you choose what you want,
and you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion.
-- Fred Astaire Education
The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll Our elections are free - it's in the results where eventually we pay.
-- Bill Stern Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
-- Euripides Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly A hippo does not have a sting in its tail, but a wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee.
-- Polish proverb Education To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Nash When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up
something appropriate and do it.
-- E. W. Howe This compact disc is made from analog masters recorded without noise reduction. Half the tracks,
in fact, were recorded in a dismal, cheap basement eight-track studio with puddles of water on
the fl Education
"That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves." (Thomas Jefferson) "Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself--and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine wit "He who speaks of what he knows not only works hard to portray his ignorance." (Joseph Muchemi) The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
-- Niels Bohr "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e Education Keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.
-- Roger Babson "God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together and nothing
matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.
-- Amy Bloom Education
All television is children's television.
-- Richard P. Adler "They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." (Andy Warhol) A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
-- Buke Ellington "The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn." (David Russell) The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone Education Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
-- Shane Leslie There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called
marriage.
-- James Holt McGavran My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. Education
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K. Dick One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz Seek the lofty by reading, hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day.
-- Thornton Wilder Education The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by
trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by l Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais "Friends are those people who know the words to the song in your heart and sing them back to you when you have forgotten the words." (Anonymous) Education
"A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) Man and wife make one fool. Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
- Elbert Hubbard Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to
be grateful.
-- Phyllis McGinley Education Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of
hers.
-- Anonymous Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence
University education.
-- George Bernard Shaw Education
Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like
what you are getting.
-- Anonymous "I was lousy in school. Real screwed-up. A moron. I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids. A really bad student. I didn't have any brains. I didn't know what I was doing there. That's w He that would have the fruit must climb the tree.
-- Thomas Fuller, M.D. Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
married "Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong." (Muhammad Ali) Education Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
-- Buddha Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.
-- Anaïs Nin Education
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. "Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time." (E. B. White) "The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions." (John A. Simone Jr.) Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson "I heard the old, old, men say 'all that's beautiful drifts away, like the waters.'" (William Butler Yeats) Education I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-- Thomas Edison Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my usual manner...sulking and nausea.
-- Tom K. Ryan Education
Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Does wisdom perhaps appear on the earth as a raven which is inspired by the smell of carrion?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies." (Gore Vidal) I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
-- Henny Youngman Education blah "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.
-- John Tudor Oregon Democratic Senate candidate Tom Bruggere, in describing his support for
comprehensive health care during a candidates' forum, said he supported "erection-to-
resurrection" coverage. He later a Education
"Self confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings." (Samuel Johnson) "One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) What's another word for "Thesaurus?"
-- Steven Wright The love we give away is the only love we keep.
-- Elbert Hubbard Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
- Sir Winston Churchill Education Launch out into the deep. One discovers by living in scorn of consequence.
-- Essie Summers In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins Education
"Children spell love...T-I-M-E." (Dr. Anthony P. Witham) "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to
criticize others.
-- H. Jackson Brown Education ... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth
reading.
-- G. M. Trevelyan "Fear is the dark room where the Devil develops his negatives." (Gary Busey) Education "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
-- George Gobel The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
- Aristotle Onassis Education
