Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang.
-- Tom Robbins Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
-- Colin Greene Security There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
-- Albert Einstein I still live.
-- Daniel Webster, dying words Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is Security
NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows
how to make us disobedient.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another
to the world.
-- Antonio Machado History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
-- Winston Churchill The mind has exactly the same power as the hands: not merely to grasp the world, but to change
it.
-- Colin Wilson "The bite of conscience, like the bite of a dog into a stone, is a stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Security If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken I like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.
-- Mae West Security
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock There are many things worth living for, there are a few things worth dying for, but there is nothing
worth killing for.
-- Tom Robbins Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars
-- Les Brown "By seeing the seed of failure in every success, we remain humble. By seeing the seed of success in every failure we remain hopeful." (Mel Ziegler, founder of Banana Republic) There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you
yourself have altered.
-- Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom Security The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt There are no days in life so memorable as those which vibrated to some stroke of the
imagination.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way
of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables you to laugh at all Security
"The depth and strength of a human character are defined by its moral reserves. People reveal themselves completely only when they are thrown out of the customary conditions of their life, for only th "They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." (Andy Warhol) The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
-- P. J. O'Rourke "Hold the fort! I am coming!" (General William Tecumseh Sherman) Security A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What
do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with ano I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
- Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable
statues I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over
them on long winter evenings.
-- Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in "The Big Sleep" Security
The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy
the waking hours much more.
-- Woody Allen And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise. "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
-- James Joyce The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder Security Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart "The only way to have friends is to be one." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Security
Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
-- H. L. Mencken Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe. The
premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
-- Kelvin Throop I Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
-- Tom Robbins There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein Security "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) "Great spirits have always faced voilent protest from mediocre minds." (Albert Einstein) I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.
-- Doug MacLeod Security
He who dies a thousand deaths meets the final hour with the calmness of one who approaches a
well remembered door.
-- Heywood Brown "The only way to have friends is to be one." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Value your words. Each one may be the last.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec If God had meant us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "Nobody minds having what is too good for them." (Jane Austen) Security If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
- George Bernard Shaw Where there is an unknowable there is a promise.
-- Thornton Wilder blah "Each friend represents a world in us; a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only in meeting them that a new world is born." (Anais Nin) Security
There is no future in any job. The future lies in the man who holds the job.
-- George Crane Wind is to fire like distance is to love; it extinguishes the small and enflames the great.
-- Anonymous It is not good enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well.
-- Rene Descartes Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell "The perception of beauty is a moral test." (Henry David Thoreau) Security "Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." (Edger Allen Poe) Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. "The formula for my happiness: a Yes, a No, a straight line, a goal." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Security
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- H. L. Mencken Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately
becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in
those tiny toil Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the
top.
-- Ed Abbey Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. Security Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country
could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss, on conducting There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be
said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot
successfully Security
Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
-- Confucius Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
-- Judith Viorst You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth
without producing it.
-- George Bernard Shaw Every major horror of history was committed in the name of an altruistic motive.
-- Ayn Rand If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth Security This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. blah "This is the hardest of all: to close the open hand out of love, and keep modest as a giver." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "For how can one know color in perpetual green, and what good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness?" (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Security
We never live; we are always in the expectation of living.
-- Voltaire Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.
-- Anonymous A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no
religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear
of No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra "I put on an act sometimes, and people think I'm insensitive. Really, it's like a kind of armor because I'm too sensitive. If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I' Security The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson "Every Man and every Woman is a Star." (Aleister Crowley) Whatever you are, be a good one.
-- Abraham Lincoln Security
