"Think off-center." (George Carlin) "Whether it is a black cat or a white cat, as long as it can catch the rat, it is a good cat." (Deng Xiao Ping) I don't feel good.
-- Luther Burbank, dying words Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for
appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George bernard Shaw By Region Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil
underneath.
-- Jacob Braude He that always gives way to others will end in having no principles of his own.
-- Aesop The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to
heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need
more supervision.
-- Lynn By Region
The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
-- Frank J. Dobie, A Texan in England, 1945 Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.
-- Albert Einstein Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil
underneath.
-- Jacob Braude Change before you have to.
-- Jack Welch The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the
first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881) By Region "A wise man among the ignorant is as a beautiful girl in the company of blind men." (Saadi) The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same
time, and still retain the ability to function.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald "Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong." (Muhammad Ali) By Region
Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.
-- Benjamin Disraeli When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
- Buckminster The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of
them, it's considered to be your style.
-- Fred Astaire The person who is slowest in making a promise is most faithful in its performance.
-- Jean-Jacques Rousseau For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne By Region The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only
way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste
time "Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies." (Gore Vidal) I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene By Region
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
-- Harry S. Truman Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
-- Helen Keller There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you
yourself have altered.
-- Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or
can die.
-- Thomas Carlyle Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
- Jean-Paul Sartre By Region The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but
newspapers.
-- Thomas Jefferson "A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." (Henry B. Adams) He who laughs last thinks slowest.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker By Region
"It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." (George Washington) Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous "I'll endorse with my name any of the following; clothing AC-DC, cigarettes, small tapes, sound equipment, ROCK N' ROLL RECORDS, anything, film, and film equipment, Food, Helium, Whips, MONEY!!" (And Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
-- Alfred A. Knopf By Region He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if
he finds her.
-- Benjamin Tillett Marriage is a rest period between romances. By Region
The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much.
-- Anonymous "Those who feel certainty are stupid and those with any imagination or understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) blah "The best students always are flunking. Every good teacher knows that." (Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance) What does not kill me makes me stronger.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) By Region Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
-- John Heywood "Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") By Region
Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. You will marry into an Indian tribe and become one big Hopi family. Generations to come will find it difficult to believe that a man such as Gandhi ever walked the
face of this earth.
-- Albert Einstein Politics have no relation to morals.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.
-- W. Somerset Maugham By Region "Those who hear not the music think the dancers mad." (Anonymous) Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
-- Ambrose Bierce America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a
chair.
-- Arnold Toynbee By Region
"Mothers spend a lifetime excising from their sons the influence of their fathers." (Arthur Lotti) Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-- H. L. Mencken "How can we know the dancer from the dance?" (William Butler Yeats) "Of all mankind the great poet is the equable man." (Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1855) "When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools." (William Shakespeare) By Region Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
-- Oscar Wilde 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) By Region
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde cannot imagine any condition which would cause this ship to founder. Modern shipbuilding has
gone beyond that.
-- E. I. Smith, Captain of the Titanic The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to
passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are . . .
grand A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.
-- Dean Acheson Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
-- Anonymous By Region We must believe in free will, we have no choice.
-- Isaac B. Singer Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it
pure ignorance?
-- Holbrook Jackson The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their
attitudes of mind.
-- William James By Region
Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as
children.
-- Libby Gelman-Waxner There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a
natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller "When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools." (William Shakespeare) By Region "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.
-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton By Region
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
- Sir Winston Churchill Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley
Temple could do it at the age of four.
-- Katharine Hepburn The work of internal government has become the task of controlling the thousands of fifth-rate
men.
-- Henry B. Adams Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. By Region Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you
don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that.
-- Bill Parcels, New Engla Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death By Region
