It ain't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
-- Will Rogers Icky icky icky icky fKANG zoop-boing n zowzyin...
-- The Knights who so recently said "Nee!", Monty Python, British comedy television show If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker We live at a time when man believes himself fabulously capable of creation, but he does not
know what to create.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset "Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms Weather Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
-- Plutarch Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker Ridicule is generally made use of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking
everything praiseworthy in human life.
-- Joseph Addison Weather
I still live.
-- Daniel Webster, dying words "There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." (Herman Melville) Everywhere I go, I'm asked if the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle
enough of them.
-- Flannery O'Connor I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz "If you believe everything you read, you better not read." (Japanese Proverb) Weather We seek the comfort of another. Someone to share and share the life we choose. Someone to
help us through the neverending attempt to understand ourselves. And in the end, someone to
comfort us along The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman
is one who can find such a man.
-- Lana Turner Weather
"A wise man among the ignorant is as a beautiful girl in the company of blind men." (Saadi) You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
-- Ziggy, character in comic strip by Tom Wilson Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe Weather May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx Weather
"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!'" (Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass) "When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools." (William Shakespeare) Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Per cubic inch, your current TV set is perhaps the dumbest appliance in your home (and I'm not
even talking about the programs).
-- Nicholas Negroponte The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.The superior teacher demonstrates. The
great teacher inspires.
-- William Arthur Ward Weather Politics have no relation to morals.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have tv shows starring rubber sqeak
toys?
-- Douglas Coupland "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." (Samuel Goldwyn) Weather
Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken "I've decided something: Commercial things really do stink. As soon as it becomes commercial for a mass market it really stinks." (Andy Warhol, The Andy Warhol Diaries, 1989) "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) cannot imagine any condition which would cause this ship to founder. Modern shipbuilding has
gone beyond that.
-- E. I. Smith, Captain of the Titanic "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) Weather Well if this is the wrong number, why did you answer it?
-- James Thurber There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the
outward behavior.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe blah bla "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough." (Albert Einstein) Weather
"Failure is not an option!" (Ed Harris, as Gene Kranz, Apollo 13) Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
- Gail Godwin Never eat more than you can lift.
-- Miss Piggy, character on "The Muppet Show," U.S. television show In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good
taste in men!
-- Wedding Toast Weather Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
-- Anthony Burgess Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
-- James Matthew Barrie A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth Weather
In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken "By seeing the seed of failure in every success, we remain humble. By seeing the seed of success in every failure we remain hopeful." (Mel Ziegler, founder of Banana Republic) Asking politicians to vote themselves out of power is like asking rabbits not to multiply, it ain't
natural.
-- Bob Beckel, on term limits, CBS This Morning, 3/30/95 There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.
-- Oscar Wilde A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted
by a little physical antipathy.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche Weather Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by
committee meetings.
-- George F. Will, journalist, political commentator, 1994 Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's
family does too.
-- Anonymous Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing.
-- Georges Danton, to his executioner Weather
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
-- Victor Hugo I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
-- Gore Vidal "One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Weather The first duty of love is to listen.
-- Paul Tillich My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a
philosopher.
- Socrates It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Weather
"The man who never made a mistake never made anything." (Derek Longdon, Tongariro Power Development, Turangi, New Zealand) "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." (Helen Keller) The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
- W.B. Prescott "I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me." (George Bernard Shaw) Weather "How can we know the dancer from the dance?" (William Butler Yeats) If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
-- Albert Einstein Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. Weather
'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
-- ee cummings "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but
as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar blah "The best students always are flunking. Every good teacher knows that." (Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance) The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
- Emile Zola Weather If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
-- Abraham Lincoln "Commit yourself to quality from day one ... it's better to do nothing at all than to do something badly." (Mark McCormack) Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.
-- Pablo Picasso Weather
If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein Courage is the price that Love exacts for granting peace.
-- Amelia Earhart "I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is." (Alan Watts) And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-- Abraham Lincoln Marriage is an institution--but who wants to live in an institution? Weather The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp "I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence." (Edger Allen Poe) The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain.
-- Lord Byron Weather
