Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same
direction.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry We can never be sure that the opinion we are endeavoring to stifle is a false opinion; and if we
were sure, stifling it would be an evil still.
-- John Stuart Mill You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan Politics What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.
-- Anaïs Nin Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 Politics
"Every now and then say, 'What the fu(c)k.' 'What the fu(c)k' gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future." (Curtis Armstrong, Risky Business, 1983) A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What
do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with ano "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) "I think people resist freedom because they're afraid of the unknown. But it's ironic....That unknown was once very well known. It's where are souls belong....The only solution is to confront them--co Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
-- James Stephens Politics "Conform and be dull." (J. Frank Doble) Joy is but the sign that creative emotion is fulfilling its purpose.
-- Charles Du Bos "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Politics
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room
enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
-- Fred Allen They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist---
-- John B. Sedgwick, general, dying words, 1864 "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney Politics The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story "I never learned from a man who agreed with me." (Robert A. Heinlein) Politics
Love is stronger than justice.
-- Sting You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or
play.
-- WARREN BEATTY Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
-- Albert Einstein Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
-- H. L. Mencken Politics Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." Politics
"I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is." (Alan Watts) May you never leave your marriage alive. Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.
-- Anonymous "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his
life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve.
-- Francois Cavanna Politics All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen
closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping.
-- Paul Jacob, Term Limits Executive Di Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.
-- G. K. Chesterton Politics
Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.
-- French Proverb A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein Politics What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have tv shows starring rubber sqeak
toys?
-- Douglas Coupland I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.
-- Henry David Thoreau Politics
"I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) "I feel I have to protect myself against things. So I'm pretty careful to lose most of them." (George Orson Welles) Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love.
-- French saying I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.
-- Calvin Coolidge A behaviorist is someone who pulls habits out of rats.
-- Anonymous Politics Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not
impress the neighbors as being very much.
-- Zora Neale Hurston "A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) Politics
The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
-- Frank J. Dobie, A Texan in England, 1945 Work is a four-letter word.
-- The Smiths (Morrissey) When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway The soul is healed by being with children.
-- Fyodor Dostoyevski Not to anticipate is already to moan.
-- Leonardo da Vinci Politics All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
-- Charlie Chaplin We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
- General Douglas MacArthur It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 Politics
"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) "The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it." (Abbie Hoffman) I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted.
-- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic
wastes to Third Wo "The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves." (William Hazlitt) Politics Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper Politics
Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women?
-- Virginia Woolf Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute. Its failings notwithstanding, there is much to be said in favor of journalism in that by giving us the
opinion of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.
-- Oscar W Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW In the early sixties, we were strong, we were virulent...
-- John Connally, Secretary of Treasury under Richard Nixon, in an early 70s speech, as reported
in a contemporary "American Scholar" Politics America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a
chair.
-- Arnold Toynbee Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window.
You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
-- Jean Ke We have to keep trying things we're not sure we can pull off. If we just do the things we know we
can do... you don't grow as much. You gotta take those chances on making those big mistakes.
-- Cybi Politics
Where there is an unknowable there is a promise.
-- Thornton Wilder "Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already
were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.
-- Lou Holtz A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer Politics Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
-- Herbert Hoover If God had meant us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun Politics
