I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University Our elections are free - it's in the results where eventually we pay.
-- Bill Stern God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if
he finds her.
-- Benjamin Tillett Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in
opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them.
-- Sydney Smith "People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Chambers of Commerce "In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.) blah bl "The better the state is established, the fainter is humanity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A conclusion is the place where you got tired thinking.
-- Martin H. Fischer Chambers of Commerce
"You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, On becoming a writer, NY Times 21 Who, being loved, is poor?
-- Oscar Wilde Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
-- George Washington To write a good love letter, you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and to
finish without knowing what you have written.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau "Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." (Edger Allen Poe) Chambers of Commerce "Mothers spend a lifetime excising from their sons the influence of their fathers." (Arthur Lotti) You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's
arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll, Outside Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. Chambers of Commerce
Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.
-- Wayne Gretzky Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart; for his purity, by
definition, is unassailable.
-- James Baldwin, Nobody Knows My Name, 1961 Chambers of Commerce None but a good man is really a living man, and the more good any man does, the more he really
lives. All the rest is death, or belongs to it.
-- Herman Melville If God does not exist, then everything is permitted.
-- Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Devils A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
-- Albert Einstein Chambers of Commerce
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-- LaRouchefoucauld "Vegiburgers are wrong." (Mike Kaup) "Ah! Don't say you agree with me. When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong." (Oscar Wilde) The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault.
- Henry Kissinger Chambers of Commerce A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There
are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's
reall Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus "You know that being an American is more than a matter of where your parents came from. It is a belief that all men are created free and equal and that everyone deserves an even break." (Harry S. Tru Chambers of Commerce
I hate women because they always know where things are.
-- James Thurber Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
-- Rita Rudner Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature
machine gun.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
- Sir Winston Churchill The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only
way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste
time Chambers of Commerce "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "Those who hear not the music think the dancers mad." (Anonymous) Chambers of Commerce
Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil
underneath.
-- Jacob Braude No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
-- Honore de Balzac Give the people not hell, but hope and courage.
-- John Murray Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp Go away...I'm alright.
-- H. G. Wells, dying words Chambers of Commerce Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar "Self-confidence is the first requisite for achieving great things." (Samuel Johnson) Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck Chambers of Commerce
My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe I date this girl for two years--and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name."
-- Mike Binder "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan Chambers of Commerce blah "The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its being read." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
-- Rita Rudner "God is Man's stupidest idea." (Marcel Duchamp, French Dadaist) Chambers of Commerce
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977 Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl could want in her life, except for good
taste in men!
-- Wedding Toast "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me
is another matter.
- Sir Winston Churchill Chambers of Commerce "The overman ... Who has organized the chaos of his passions, given style to his character, and become creative. Aware of life's terrors, he affirms life without resentment." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietz The child is the father of the man.
-- William Wordsworth Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns Chambers of Commerce
The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
-- Thomas Jefferson He who kisses the joy is it flies lives in eternity's sunrise
-- William Blake Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon
compounds that crawl.
-- Mike Adams Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
- Henry Kissinger Chambers of Commerce "Not only is there no guarantee of the temporal immortality of the human soul, that is to say of its eternal survival after death; but, in any case, this assumption completely fails to accomplish the If you want to sing out, sing out, and if you want to be free, be free, 'cause there's a million ways
to be, you know that there are...
-- Cat Stevens, from a song lyric Thought is action in rehearsal.
-- Sigmund Freud Chambers of Commerce
Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find
out how to do it.
-- Theodore Roosevelt "Some people must go to extremes to get the world in balance for themselves. Some can't bear bright lights, so wherever they go they search for the dark; they turn the lights down, anything to sustain The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the
uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde "Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up.
-- Vince Lombardi Chambers of Commerce "Well begun is half done." (Aristotle) "When thou art at Rome, do as they do at Rome." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door
and just visit now and then.
-- Katharine Hepburn Chambers of Commerce
As always, victory finds a hundred fathers but defeat is an orphan.
-- Count Galeazzo Ciano, The Ciano Diaries "College: two hundred people reading same book. An obvious mistake. Two hundred people can read two hundred books." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Everywhere I go, I'm asked if the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle
enough of them.
-- Flannery O'Connor Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
-- Virginia Woolf Chambers of Commerce We have drugs to make women speak, but none to keep them silent.
-- Anatole France And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise. A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
- Helen Rowland Chambers of Commerce
