With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
-- Josh Billings Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings "Everywhere one seeks to produce meaning, to make the world signify, to render it visible. We are not, however, in danger of lacking meaning; quite the contrary, we are gorged with meaning and it is k When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is
when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard Parties I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a
lot less.
-- Brendon Behan He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
-- Anonymous Parties
If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor
one.
-- Dr. W.C. Heuper of the National Cancer Institute, as quoted in the New York Times on Apri "If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." (Anatole France) Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol At every crossroads on the path that leads to the future, tradition has placed 10,000 men to guard
the past.
-- Maurice Maeterlink "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") Parties He who limps is still walking.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." (Andy Warhol) Life isn't a matter of milestones, but of moments.
-- Rose Kennedy Parties
"What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." Our schools have been scientifically designed to prevent over-education from happening. [...] The
average American (should be) content with their humble role in life, because they're not tempted
to When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is
when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
-- Victor Hugo The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher Parties There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields to stern resolve. He who is fixed to a star does
not change his mind.
-- Leonardo da Vinci, Notebooks Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno. Parties
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
- Henry Louis Mencken Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life "The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n "I like boring things." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) The sun never sets on the British empire because Britain is in the east and the sun sets in the
west.
-- Unknown history student Parties "We already have the statistics for the future: the growth percentages of pollution, overpopulation, desertification. The future is already in place." (Günther Grass, Winner of the Nobel Prize for Li "To be great is to be misunderstood." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Do you not know, my son, with what little understanding the world is ruled?
-- Pope Julius III Parties
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
- Mahatma Gandhi "Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to
be grateful.
-- Phyllis McGinley Happy are those who dream dreams and are willing to pay the price to make them come true.
-- Anon. blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) Parties It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical
deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker Parties
A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others.
-- Tryon Edwards I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage.
-- Jean Anouilh Parties "We already have the statistics for the future: the growth percentages of pollution, overpopulation, desertification. The future is already in place." (Günther Grass, Winner of the Nobel Prize for Li It is most unwise for people in love to marry.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." (Alexander Pope) Parties
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg Education is the state-controlled manufacture of echoes.
-- Norman Douglas blah "An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion." ( When he first ran for office, he appealed to the voters: "I never stole anything in my life. All I ask
is a chance."
-- Anon. Parties What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.
-- Max Frisch There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Parties
Knowledge is the intellectual manipulation of carefully verified observations.
-- Sigmund Freud Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
-- William Temple "Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this
is true.
-- James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion It is always right that a man should be able to render a reason for the faith that is within him.
-- Sydney Smith Parties Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol blah "Ability wins us the esteem of the true men; luck that of the people." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) Parties
Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
- H. M. Warner, founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927 The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up
something appropriate and do it.
-- E. W. Howe "If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Will to Power, 1888) "One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." (A. A. Milne) Parties If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
- Oscar Wilde "Everything in my life has been determined by mistakes." (Gene Wilder) Parties
Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little "He who cannot give anything away cannot feel anything either." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce Parties Lawyers are... operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.
-- Jane Bryant Quinn Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- H. L. Mencken Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
-- Shane Leslie Parties
Art consists of limitation. The most beautiful part of every picture is the frame.
-- G. K. Chesterton There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.
-- Oscar Wilde Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone) Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
-- Groucho Marx Parties Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book. The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx Parties
