There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
-- Oscar Wilde "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone) Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
-- George Washington Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the
really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
-- Mark Twain Specialties When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
-- Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin, 1973 Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.
-- G. K. Chesterton It is not necessary that whilst I live I live happily; but it is necessary that so long as I live I should
live honourably.
-- Kant, Immanuel Specialties
Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov "Truth lies not only in a dream, but in many dreams." (Pier Paolo Pasolini, Italian poet, novelist and filmmaker) In a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not
allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating,
stealing, Work is a four-letter word.
-- The Smiths (Morrissey) Specialties blah "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 "Wise men learn more from fools, than fools from the wise." (Anonymous) Specialties
"If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. -- Borge "Politics is my hobby. Smut is my vocation." (Larry Flynt) "Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" (George Bernard Shaw) Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.
-- James Graham Specialties Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein We think caged birds sing, when indeed they cry.
-- John Webster An economic forecaster is like a cross-eyed javelin thrower: they don't win many accuracy
contests, but they keep the crowd's attention.
-- Anonymous Specialties
Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them.
-- Aristotle Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
-- Andre Gide The first duty of love is to listen.
-- Paul Tillich Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
-- Samuel Johnson Specialties In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar--a practice which is still continued.
-- Helen Rowland Spinster: A bachelor's wife. Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
-- Indian proverb Specialties
This compact disc is made from analog masters recorded without noise reduction. Half the tracks,
in fact, were recorded in a dismal, cheap basement eight-track studio with puddles of water on
the fl Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt "Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" (George Bernard Shaw) Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a
brand new ending.
-- Anonymous When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway Specialties "Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." (Eddie Rickenbacker) I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H.L. Mencken Specialties
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to.
-- Mark Twain The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only
way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste
time "A thing of beauty is a joy forever." (John Keats) I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the
advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults of the first.
-- Benjamin Franklin Specialties The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with
the wish to teach himself.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton I am ready at any time. Do not keep me waiting.
-- John Brown - last words Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Specialties
Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW "The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn." (David Russell) When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. "Genius without education is like silver in the mine." (Benjamin Franklin) Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger Specialties "Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking." (H. Jackson Brown (Jr.) I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how
to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal Anything too stupid to be said, is sung.
-- Voltaire Specialties
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- ee cummings Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together.
-- Joan Thompson Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous
and dreadful.
-- Samuel Johnson Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through
self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
-- Helen Keller "Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) Specialties "If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Will to Power, 1888) Trust, but verify.
-- Ronald Reagan It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.
-- Eugene McCarthy Specialties
I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Logic is in the eye of the logician.
- Gloria Steinem Study men, not historians.
-- Harry Truman It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
-- Abraham Lincoln Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Specialties The real questions are the ones that obtrude upon your consciousness whether you like it or not,
the ones that make your mind start vibrating like a jackhammer, the ones that you 'come to terms
with Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.
- Richard Bach Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar Specialties
The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.
-- Yiddish Proverb Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) "The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Specialties "To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." (Joan Rivers) "Dreams are the touchstones of our personality." (Henry David Thoreau) Specialties
A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.
-- Moliere Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.
-- Anonymous Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you
have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
-- Aldous Huxley The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
-- George Bernard Shaw Specialties A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.
Harry S. Truman Universities incline wits to sophistry and affectation.
-- Francis Bacon Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any
antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock Specialties
