Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
-- Judith Viorst I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible
by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco Is there life before death?
-- Belfast Graffito Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
- Ross MacDonald A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth Sporting Goods Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
- Jean-Paul Sartre Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement.
-- Cousin Woodman Cricket is best described as organised loafing.
-- Anonymous British Radio Broadcaster, 1996 Sporting Goods
UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 I am beginning to suspect all elaborate and special systems of education. They seem to me to be
built upon the supposition that every child is a kind of idiot who must be taught to think.
-- Anne S "Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery." (Andy Warhol) "It seems to me that there are two kinds of trickery: the 'fronts' people assume before one another's eyes, and the 'front' a writer puts on the face of reality." (Francois Sagan) I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
- Cicero Sporting Goods The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband bein' big enough to keep his mouth
shut, to step back and see where his wife is wrong.
-- Archie Bunker, character on "All in the Family, Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
-- Karl Wallenda The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute
for life.
-- Andrew Brown Sporting Goods
"You exist only in what you do." (Federico Fellini) Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a
madhouse.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and
science.
-- Albert Einstein Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW Sporting Goods Drink to me.
-- Pablo Picasso, dying words Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in
freedom.
-- Albert Einstein "If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat." (Mark Twain) Sporting Goods
There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.
-- Oscar Wilde Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
-- George Bernard Shaw Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli To teach is to learn twice.
-- Joseph Joubert Sporting Goods I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton When looking back, usually I'm more sorry for the things I didn't do than for the things I shouldn't
have done.
-- Malcolm Forbes "If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." (Albert Einstein) Sporting Goods
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.
-- W. Somerset Maugham The limits of my language means the limits of my world.
-- Ludwig Wittgenstein The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
-- Roger Simon He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio Sporting Goods Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf, Bernard, in The Waves, 1931; repr. 1943, p. 189 A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
-- Albert Einstein Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
-- Anonymous Sporting Goods
I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances
continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the
distance The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's
age.
-- Modern Maturity Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.
-- John Galsworthy Sporting Goods I don't feel good.
-- Luther Burbank, dying words then the world 's mine oyster
-- William Shakespeare, The Merry Wives of Windsor "Courageous, untroubled, mocking and violent--that is what Wisdom wants us to be. Wisdom is a woman, and loves only a warrior." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Sporting Goods
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two
slaves, making in all, two.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they
study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.
-- Gerald Early, writer, baseball do blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
-- St. Augustine Sporting Goods Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between.
-- David Letterman The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and
remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't
work and the The fantasy which serves as a support for the figure of the Stalinist Communist is therefore
exactly the same as the fantasy which is at work in the Tom and Jerry cartoons.
-- Slavoj Zizek Sporting Goods
Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. I date this girl for two years--and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name."
-- Mike Binder In the early sixties, we were strong, we were virulent...
-- John Connally, Secretary of Treasury under Richard Nixon, in an early 70s speech, as reported
in a contemporary "American Scholar" May you grow so rich your widow's second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous Sporting Goods A dollar saved is a quarter earned.
-- John Ciardi Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- Wernher Von Braun "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) Sporting Goods
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
-- Oscar Wilde The first duty of love is to listen.
-- Paul Tillich The absolute yearning of one human body for another particular body and its indifference to
substitutes is one of life's major mysteries.
-- Iris Murdoch Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.
-- Dr. Benjamin Spock, American pediatrician, address to new parents A man's reach should exeed his grasp, or else what's a heaven for?
-- Robert Browning Sporting Goods My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
-- Christopher Morley She felt in italics and thought in capitals.
-- Henry James "Use what talents you possess; The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." (William Blake) Sporting Goods
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be
feasible.
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper prop The average person thinks he isn't.
- Father Larry Lorenzoni It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
-- Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly We think caged birds sing, when indeed they cry.
-- John Webster Sporting Goods "It is awfully easy to be hard-boiled about everything in the daytime, but at night it is another thing." (Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises) Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
-- Thomas Jones Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way
around the laws.
- Plato Sporting Goods
Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. The child is the father of the man.
-- William Wordsworth The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings The real questions are the ones that obtrude upon your consciousness whether you like it or not,
the ones that make your mind start vibrating like a jackhammer, the ones that you 'come to terms
with I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin Sporting Goods We can say 'Peace on Earth,' we can sing about it, preach about it or pray about it, but if we have
not internalized the mythology to make it happen inside us, then it will not be.
-- Betty Shabazz We must believe in free will, we have no choice.
-- Isaac B. Singer I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
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