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Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
- Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable
statues A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
-- Navaho saying Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
-- Henny Youngman Radio Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V "A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car." (Kenneth Tynan) If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada Radio
"If you meet a woman that smokes cigars ... marry her." (Arthur Lotti) May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. We know the truth, not only by the reason, but also by the heart.
-- Blaise Pascal, Thoughts, Chap. x. 1., Translated by O. W. Wight Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
-- Anonymous "One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Radio Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham Dreams never hurt anybody if you keep working right behind the dreams to make as much of
them become real as you can.
-- Frank W. Woolworth Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
-- Herbert Hoover Radio
The more faithfully you listen to the voices within you, the better you will hear what is sounding
outside.
-- Dag Hammarskjold Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error
that provoked it.
-- Alvin Toffler Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker Logic is in the eye of the logician.
- Gloria Steinem If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile.
-- Lynda Barry Radio Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of
sin.
-- John Von Neuman Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-- LaRouchefoucauld As always, victory finds a hundred fathers but defeat is an orphan.
-- Count Galeazzo Ciano, The Ciano Diaries Radio
Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through
self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
-- Helen Keller "Avoid providing material for the drama that is always stretched tight between parents and children; it uses up much of the children's strength and wastes the love of the elders, which acts and warms Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to.
-- Mark Twain What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Radio God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams Radio
"The things we admire in men, kindness and generosity, openness, honesty, understanding and feeling are the concomitants of failure in our system. And those traits we detest, sharpness, greed, acquisi "Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." (George Bernard Shaw) When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life
of another.
-- Helen Keller I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
-- Sam Kinison Asking politicians to vote themselves out of power is like asking rabbits not to multiply, it ain't
natural.
-- Bob Beckel, on term limits, CBS This Morning, 3/30/95 Radio And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-- Abraham Lincoln Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW What's new? Most of my wife. Radio
Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of
genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." (Edger Allen Poe) Facts are the enemy of truth.
- Don Quixote - Man of La Mancha You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
- Gilbert Keith Chesterton Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.
-- Margaret Mead Radio If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. "A thing of beauty is a joy forever." (John Keats) Radio
Two souls with but a single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one.
-- Fredrich Halm "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) "Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery." (Andy Warhol) blah "The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its being read." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) "Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them." (Samuel Butler) Radio We know the truth, not only by the reason, but also by the heart.
-- Blaise Pascal, Thoughts, Chap. x. 1., Translated by O. W. Wight "I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you and education." (Wilson Mizner) I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard Radio
Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-
inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least
expect i Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing
they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the
bad ones.
-- W. Somerset Maugham It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Radio "You believe that flag burning shows disrespect towards those who have fought to preserve our freedoms. Punishing protestors shows an even more profound disrespect for the ideals that these people die I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to
know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
- Clarence Darrow, If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all." (John Cage) Radio
Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno. Nobody ever died of laughter.
-- Max Beerbohm Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
-- Oscar Wilde "They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." (Andy Warhol) "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Radio Flowers are words which even a baby can understand.
-- Arthur C. Coxe "Fear is the dark room where the Devil develops his negatives." (Gary Busey) What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Radio
I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair "Where there's a marriage without love there will be love without marriage." (Benjamin Franklin) "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or
failure has been dependent on the one he used most.
-- George R. Kirkpatrick Radio When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you
don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that.
-- Bill Parcels, New Engla It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a
few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to
run his, either.
-- Anonymous Radio
"As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it." (Dick Cavett) It is always right that a man should be able to render a reason for the faith that is within him.
-- Sydney Smith "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." "An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) To teach is to learn twice.
-- Joseph Joubert Radio We can say 'Peace on Earth,' we can sing about it, preach about it or pray about it, but if we have
not internalized the mythology to make it happen inside us, then it will not be.
-- Betty Shabazz Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. To read a writer is for me not merely to get an idea of what he says, but to go off with him and travel in his company.
Andre Gide Radio
