Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 "Think off-center." (George Carlin) There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to
learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.
-- Michel de Montaigne Genius is 99 percent perspiration and 1 percent inspiration.
-- Thomas Edison Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and
quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that
remains fa Kelmentsi Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben Not to anticipate is already to moan.
-- Leonardo da Vinci There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to
learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.
-- Michel de Montaigne Kelmentsi
Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M. C. Reed Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is blissfully
ignorant.
--John Simon "One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a
natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute
for life.
-- Andrew Brown Kelmentsi Marriage is an institution--but who wants to live in an institution? "We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police." (Jeff Marder) The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
-- Mark Twain Kelmentsi
Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances
continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the
distance The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.
-- Virginia Woolf I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they
study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.
-- Gerald Early, writer, baseball do "Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Kelmentsi A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
-- H. L. Mencken For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier Anything too stupid to be said, is sung.
-- Voltaire Kelmentsi
"Brevity is the soul of wit." (William Shakespeare) The absolute yearning of one human body for another particular body and its indifference to
substitutes is one of life's major mysteries.
-- Iris Murdoch A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to
get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday Kelmentsi I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield "Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food." (George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman) "The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Kelmentsi
Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like
what you are getting.
-- Anonymous Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber Kelmentsi You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
-- Ziggy, character in comic strip by Tom Wilson Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to
benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment.
-- Ralph Mars History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Kelmentsi
"You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you remain always a pupil." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are
capable of being.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from
ourselves.
-- Tom Robbins Per cubic inch, your current TV set is perhaps the dumbest appliance in your home (and I'm not
even talking about the programs).
-- Nicholas Negroponte The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe Kelmentsi "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
- Bertrand Russell Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the
time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht Kelmentsi
Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.
-- Oscar Wilde Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.
-- Vince Lombardi Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner "Think where mans glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends." (William Butler Yeats) "Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking." (H. Jackson Brown (Jr.) Kelmentsi Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good and
tomorrow aint as bad as it seems.
-- Billy Joel After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats.
-- English Proverb Kelmentsi
Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law No matter who you vote for, the Government always gets in.
-- Anon. I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with
typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright We got to roll with the punches, play all of our hunches, make the best of whatever comes your
way. Forget that blind ambition, learn to trust your intuition -- plowing straight ahead, come what
may Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to
be perfectly deaf.
-- Oscar Wilde Kelmentsi Natural ability without education has more often attained to glory and virtue than education
without natural ability.
Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC) "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings Kelmentsi
If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." (Paul Boese) This world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
-- Horace Walpole It is not because it is difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are
difficult.
-- Lucius Anneaus Seneca Kelmentsi Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job
will cost.
-- Anon If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
- George Bernard Shaw "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) Kelmentsi
"Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) "The market is not an invention of capitalism. It has existed for centuries. It is an invention of civilization." (Mikhail Gorbachev, June 8, 1990) The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived
in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republic You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
- Sir Winston Churchill Kelmentsi Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cat's Cradle The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me
is another matter.
- Sir Winston Churchill Kelmentsi
However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my usual manner...sulking and nausea.
-- Tom K. Ryan If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings.
-- Lisa Moriyama If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor
one.
-- Dr. W.C. Heuper of the National Cancer Institute, as quoted in the New York Times on Apri Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is blissfully
ignorant.
--John Simon For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely
unnatural condition.
-- Robert Briffault Kelmentsi The gods too are fond of a joke.
- Aristotle Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders than the arguments of its opposers.
-- William Penn Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.
-- Edward H. Land Kelmentsi
