I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately
becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in
those tiny toil The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of
them, it's considered to be your style.
-- Fred Astaire Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine Every flower must grow through dirt.
-- Anonymous Zhovti Vody You will marry into an Indian tribe and become one big Hopi family. Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau ( Thought is action in rehearsal.
-- Sigmund Freud Zhovti Vody
"Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
-- Chinese Proverb Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
-- Francis Bacon In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person
must be fired.
-- Conway's Law In the early sixties, we were strong, we were virulent...
-- John Connally, Secretary of Treasury under Richard Nixon, in an early 70s speech, as reported
in a contemporary "American Scholar" Zhovti Vody Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper.
-- Scottish Proverb God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to
be perfectly deaf.
-- Oscar Wilde Zhovti Vody
Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
-- Albert Einstein A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.
-- Moliere When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is
when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard When looking back, usually I'm more sorry for the things I didn't do than for the things I shouldn't
have done.
-- Malcolm Forbes I am not young enough to know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde Zhovti Vody "It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." (George Washington) It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
-- Alec Bourne, A Doctor's Creed "I met someone on the street who said wasn't it great that we're going to have a movie star for president, that it was so Pop, and (laughs) when you think about it like that, it is great, it's so Amer Zhovti Vody
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
-- Carol Leifer The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
-- ROBERT FROST When you're experimenting you have to try so many things before you choose what you want,
and you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion.
-- Fred Astaire I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Vote for the man who promises least. He'll be the least disappointing.
-- Bernard Baruch Zhovti Vody It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince Zhovti Vody
When you're experimenting you have to try so many things before you choose what you want,
and you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion.
-- Fred Astaire Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
- Gail Godwin "College: two hundred people reading same book. An obvious mistake. Two hundred people can read two hundred books." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare Watching the debate this afternoon it was apparent they loved term limits in the House -- as
Brutus loved Caesar.
-- Bill Moyers Zhovti Vody All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll, (seen attributed to "R.S. Ingersoll" - a typo?) It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 Zhovti Vody
It's no credit to anyone to work to hard.
-- Ed Howe He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." (Mae West) Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Zhovti Vody Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature
machine gun.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
-- Emiliano Zapata I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney Zhovti Vody
"The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) "I couldn't find the sports car of my dreams, so I built it myself." (Dr. Ferdinand Porsche) Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
- Karl Wallenda Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy "God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) Zhovti Vody "God's creatures, great and small ... eat them one, eat them all." (John A. Simone Sr.) Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside
desperate to get out.
-- Michel de Montaigne "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." (Samuel Goldwyn) Zhovti Vody
Destiny is but a phrase of the weak human heart - the dark apology for every error. The strong
and virtuous admit no destiny. On earth conscience guides; in heaven God watches. And destiny
is but th "Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a
few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, Zhovti Vody You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll, (seen attributed to "R.S. Ingersoll" - a typo?) Zhovti Vody
Love means to love that which is unlovable; or it is no virtue at all.
-- G. K. Chesterton This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Zhovti Vody Experience is the name every one gives his mistakes.
-- Elbert Hubbard "How wondrous familiar is a fool!" (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- Wernher Von Braun Zhovti Vody
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx "Death solves all problems--no man, no problem." (Josef Stalin) "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." (Andy Warhol) Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
-- Anonymous "That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, Zhovti Vody Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars
-- Les Brown Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller The absolute yearning of one human body for another particular body and its indifference to
substitutes is one of life's major mysteries.
-- Iris Murdoch Zhovti Vody
"We always get bored with those whom we bore." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) "I was born lost and take no pleasure in being found..." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without
the software.
-- Arthur C. Clarke The Church is an organism that grows best in an alien society.
-- C. Stacey Woods For the majority of People, smoking has a beneficial effect.
-- Dr. Ian G. Macdonald, Los Angeles surgeon, quoted in Newsweek , Nov.18th 1963. Zhovti Vody Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple, learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a
dozen.
-- John Steinbeck It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
-- Woody Allen If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-- Johnny Carson Zhovti Vody
