Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx It ain't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
-- Will Rogers "Paper should be edible, nutritious. Inks used for printing or writing should have delicious flavors. Magazines or newspapers read at breakfast should be eaten for lunch. Instead of throwing one's mai I was nauseous and tingly all over... I was either in love or I had smallpox.
-- Woody Allen If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war.
-- Pentagon official, on why US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War Kalush They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist---
-- John B. Sedgwick, general, dying words, 1864 "A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." (Claude Rains, as Mr. Dryden, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you
have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
-- Aldous Huxley Kalush
"The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) .. I am indebted to the cat for a particular kind of honorable deceit, for a greater control over
myself, for a characteristic aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep silent for long
per "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
-- Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
- Oscar Wilde Kalush I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
- Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable
statues I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.
-- Socrates A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
-- Sidney Goff Kalush
blah "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life blah "A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham "Learn from the mistakes of others--you can never live long enough to make them all yourself." (John Luther) Kalush "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) "Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing." (Oscar Wilde) "It is the nature of a man as he grows older, a small bridge in time, to protest against change, particularly change for the better." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Kalush
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire.
-- William Yeats The story of a love is not important - what is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps
the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity.
-- Helen Hayes "In times of change learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." (Eric Hoffer) A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost Kalush "Crime like death is not confined to the old and withered alone. The youngest and fairest are too often its chosen victims." (Charles Dickens, 1812-70, Oliver Twist) Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. "The meeting of two personalites is like the contact of two chemical substances. If there is any reaction, both are transformed." (Carl Gustav Jung) Kalush
Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
-- Elvis Presley "The want of logic annoys. Too much logic bores. Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced." (André Gide) A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
-- Marvin Kitman Kalush "If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." (Napoleon Bonaparte) People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
-- Otto von Bismarck The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre Kalush
"Things do not change, we change." (Henry David Thoreau) "It is a curious thing that God learned Greek when he wished to turn author--and that he did not learn it better." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Motivation will almost always beat mere talent.
-- Norman R. Augustine A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing
nothing.
-- George Benard Shaw I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all
the time. That would be hypocrisy.
-- Oscar Wilde Kalush "As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it." (Dick Cavett) Thomas Jefferson--still surv...
-- John Adams, dying words I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than
knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein Kalush
Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen Change before you have to.
-- Jack Welch What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crow Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take
what I have to give.
-- Cass Daley Kalush Choose a wife by your ear than your eye.
-- Thomas Fuller, 1732 Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
-- Madame de Rieux I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright Kalush
Hell is other people.
- Jean-Paul Sartre In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person
must be fired.
-- Conway's Law Stung by the splendour of a sudden thought.
-- Robert Browning "The mark of our time is its revulsion against imposed patterns." (Marshall McLuhan) Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon
them.
-- Anonymous Kalush My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
-- Abraham Lincoln I married beneath me. All women do.
-- Lady Nancy Astor, attributed blah bl "The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning, but without understanding." (Louis Brandeis) Kalush
Education ... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth
reading.
-- G. M. Trevelyan Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) "I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead." (Oscar Wilde) I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way
around Chinatown.
-- Woody Allen Hardly a year passes that fails to find a new, oft-times exotic, research method or technique
added to the armamentarium of political inquiry. Anyone who cannot negotiate Chi squares,
assess randomi Kalush It is never too late to be what you might have been.
-- George Eliot "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to
heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need
more supervision.
-- Lynn Kalush
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." (Albert Einstein) In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little "All our best men are laughed at in this nightmare land." (Jack Keroac) "If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world." (Blaise Pascal) Kalush No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
-- Anon. When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already
were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford Kalush
If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken He that always gives way to others will end in having no principles of his own.
-- Aesop Conversation, fastidious Goddess, loves blood better than brick, and feasts most subtly on the
human will.
-- Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing
popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
-- Dave Barry Kalush When looking back, usually I'm more sorry for the things I didn't do than for the things I shouldn't
have done.
-- Malcolm Forbes "Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers." (Socrates) The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow
extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment.
-- Robert Hutchins, Great Books, 1954 Kalush
