All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story "Children spell love...T-I-M-E." (Dr. Anthony P. Witham) Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window.
You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
-- Jean Ke The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
-- Clarence Darrow "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) Kirovohrad Oblast Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon
compounds that crawl.
-- Mike Adams Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan Icky icky icky icky fKANG zoop-boing n zowzyin...
-- The Knights who so recently said "Nee!", Monty Python, British comedy television show Kirovohrad Oblast
Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
-- Samuel Johnson "Beauty without expression is boring." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
-- B.F. Skinner Is there life before death?
-- Belfast Graffito Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Kirovohrad Oblast The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
-- Roger Simon Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons "To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend." (Jacques Derrida, French 'deconstructionist') Kirovohrad Oblast
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of
opportunity.
-- George Bernard Shaw This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to
do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.
-- Anonymous All science is concerned with the relationship of cause and effect. Each scientific discovery
increases man's ability to predict the consequences of his actions and thus his ability to control
futur Kirovohrad Oblast If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.
-- Mark B. Cohen The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does
not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost Kirovohrad Oblast
When looking back, usually I'm more sorry for the things I didn't do than for the things I shouldn't
have done.
-- Malcolm Forbes When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life
of another.
-- Helen Keller You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they
do.
-- Olin Miller Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
-- Anonymous Kirovohrad Oblast "Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." (Native American Proverb) Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet
not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?
-- François de La Rouch Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
- Lewis Perelman Kirovohrad Oblast
Work is a four-letter word.
-- The Smiths (Morrissey) Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.
-- John-Paul Sartre I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." (Henry Louis Mencken) You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.
-- American Proverb Kirovohrad Oblast Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to
benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment.
-- Ralph Mars How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it
a leg.
-- Abraham Lincoln Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
-- Carl Zwanzig Kirovohrad Oblast
There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics a "How is it that we never have time to do a job right, but we always have time to do it over?" (Anonymous) I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
-- Albert Einstein Kirovohrad Oblast "I don't believe people die. They just go uptown. To Bloomingdales. They just take longer to get back." (Andy Warhol) "People drag their progeny around with them like a ball and chain, like some terrible deadweight that hinders their every move - and that, as often as not, effectively winds up killing them." (Michel Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
- Martin Fraquhar Tupper Kirovohrad Oblast
"The depth and strength of a human character are defined by its moral reserves. People reveal themselves completely only when they are thrown out of the customary conditions of their life, for only th The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
-- Thomas Jefferson It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen "Courage is found in unlikely places." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) Whatever you are, be a good one.
-- Abraham Lincoln Kirovohrad Oblast A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
-- Anonymous Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country
could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper More light!
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, dying words Kirovohrad Oblast
It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and
superior impartiality.
-- Arnold Bennett Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-- Albert Einstein Vote for the man who promises least. He'll be the least disappointing.
-- Bernard Baruch "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The executive exists to make sensible exceptions to general rules.
-- Elting E. Morison Kirovohrad Oblast Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the
top.
-- Ed Abbey In the blithe days of honeymoon,
With Kate's allurements smitten,
I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon,
And call'd her dearest kitten.
But now my kitten's grown a cat,
And cross like other wives.
"Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." (George Orwell) Kirovohrad Oblast
People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get
what they want.
-- David Mamet Genius is 99 percent perspiration and 1 percent inspiration.
-- Thomas Edison An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie History repeats itself; that's one of the things that's wrong with history.
-- Clarence Darrow Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
-- Anonymous Kirovohrad Oblast It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a
woman.
-- Virginia Woolf Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Kirovohrad Oblast
Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
-- Peter De Vries One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton Kirovohrad Oblast For the majority of People, smoking has a beneficial effect.
-- Dr. Ian G. Macdonald, Los Angeles surgeon, quoted in Newsweek , Nov.18th 1963. Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
-- George Bernard Shaw In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th Kirovohrad Oblast
"A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." (Henry B. Adams) For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely
unnatural condition.
-- Robert Briffault Life is a succession of lessons enforced by immediate reward, or, oftener, by immediate
chastisement.
-- Ernest Dimnet Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.
-- Billy Sunday Kirovohrad Oblast A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery of honour; so belike is that.
-- Shakespeare, William Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K. Dick Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
-- Ralph N. Gerard Kirovohrad Oblast
