Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark
in one another.
-- Kenny Ausubel The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
-- Joseph Heller, God Knows Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but
as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland Maps and Views People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only
make $500,000.
-- Pete Incaviglia, baseball player, 1990 "So little done, so much to do." (Cecil Rhodes) I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it.
And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
-- George Bus Maps and Views
blah "The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its being read." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) "... adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, quoted in his obituary, Time) Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. Tear open packet, unfold and use.
-- Directions on moist towelette package This book fills a much-needed gap.
- Moses Hadas in a review Maps and Views Half of the American people never read a newspaper.
Half never voted for President.
One hopes it is the same half.
-- Gore Vidal Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be
closed for any other business.
-- Abraham Lincoln Maps and Views
"God is Man's stupidest idea." (Marcel Duchamp, French Dadaist) It's important to be open-minded, but not SO open-minded that your brains fall out.
-- Rick Radebaugh Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
-- William Hazlitt It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up.
-- Vince Lombardi I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability.
-- Oscar Wilde Maps and Views Our own heart, and not other men's opinions form our true honor.
-- Coleridge, Samuel Taylor Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.
-- Mao Tse-tung When Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if
I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff. My wife said, "George, I'm so unhappy! Our darling's now
comple Maps and Views
Half of the American people never read a newspaper.
Half never voted for President.
One hopes it is the same half.
-- Gore Vidal "That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves." (Thomas Jefferson) Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
-- James Joyce I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen "Furious activity is no substitute for understanding." (H. H. Williams) Maps and Views Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
-- Albert Camus "Genius without education is like silver in the mine." (Benjamin Franklin) Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin Maps and Views
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is
the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be
cr It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
-- St. Francis of Assisi "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." (Oscar Wilde, his last recorded words) You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little
plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now.
-- Ha Maps and Views "An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) Lawyers are... operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.
-- Jane Bryant Quinn Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. -- Borge Maps and Views
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
- Napoleon Bonaparte "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream." (Eleanor Roosevelt) Keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.
-- Roger Babson Maps and Views The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains.The superior teacher demonstrates. The
great teacher inspires.
-- William Arthur Ward There are some things which cannot be learned quickly, and time, which is all we have, must be
paid heavily for their acquiring. They are the very simplest things and, because it takes a man's
life Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an
automobile.
-- Billy Sunday Maps and Views
"A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you." (Bert Leston Taylor) If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside
desperate to get out.
-- Michel de Montaigne It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -- but that is the way
to bet.
-- Damon Runyan Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
-- Peter Ustinov Maps and Views "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes It is best to learn as we go, not go as we have learned.
-- Leslie Jeanne Sahler Maps and Views
There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's
age.
-- Modern Maturity "Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational." (Charles Schultz) Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein blah "An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion." ( Maps and Views "Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
-- Euripides Maps and Views
If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister? Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of
sin.
-- John Von Neuman Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
-- Tom Robbins "I never learned from a man who agreed with me." (Robert A. Heinlein) "The overman ... Who has organized the chaos of his passions, given style to his character, and become creative. Aware of life's terrors, he affirms life without resentment." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietz Maps and Views Happiness is nothing more than health and a poor memory.
-- Albert Schweitzer Life isn't a matter of milestones, but of moments.
-- Rose Kennedy I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often, but I'm well preserved.
-- Rose Kennedy, (1890-1995) family matriarch, on her 100th birthday, 1991 Maps and Views
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
- Emile Zola When people have no other tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost;
-- J.R.R. Tolkein It takes two to speak truth --One to speak, and another to hear.
-- Henry David Thoreau "You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you remain always a pupil." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Maps and Views A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted
by a little physical antipathy.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the
betterment of life.
-- Henry Ford Do not let yourselves be discouraged or embittered by the smallness of the success you are likely
to achieve in trying to make life better. You certainly would not be able, in a single generation, to Maps and Views
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
-- Thomas Edison Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner "In some ways, I never outgrew my adolescence. I wake up in the morning and think, 'Oh my God, I'm late for a math test!' But then I say, 'Wait a minute. I'm 40.'" (Daniel Clowes) UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Maps and Views All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost;
-- J.R.R. Tolkein A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
-- St. Augustine As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.
-- Abraham Lincoln Maps and Views
