Don't anthropomorphize computers -- they hate it.
-- Anonymous "I offer images; I conjure memories of freedom that can still be reached ... But, we can only open the doors. We can't drag people through. I can't free them unless they want to be free--more than any Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in
a car he sticks his head out the window.
-- Steve Bluestone Obedience is the gateway through which knowledge, yes, and love, too, enter the mind of the
child.
-- Anne Sullivan Lebedyn "You know that being an American is more than a matter of where your parents came from. It is a belief that all men are created free and equal and that everyone deserves an even break." (Harry S. Tru "College professors are the people who can't hack it in the real world." (William Thomas) Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.
-- Lauren Bacall Lebedyn
"To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend." (Jacques Derrida, French 'deconstructionist') Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to
be grateful.
-- Phyllis McGinley In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
-- Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo Lebedyn One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is
terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell
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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton "A man who flies from his fear may find he has only taken a shortcut to meet it." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
-- T. S. Eliot Lebedyn
He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.
-- Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn't following up on his
campaign pledge that there would be "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
- William Jennings Bryan "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for the appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George Bernard Shaw Lebedyn For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-- Woody Allen Lebedyn
Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor
one.
-- Dr. W.C. Heuper of the National Cancer Institute, as quoted in the New York Times on Apri If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. -- Chekhov Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error
that provoked it.
-- Alvin Toffler All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen
closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping.
-- Paul Jacob, Term Limits Executive Di Lebedyn The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Emerson, Ralph Waldo In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled.
-- Paul Eldridge If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile.
-- Lynda Barry Lebedyn
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
- Ross MacDonald A girl must marry for love and keep on marrying until she finds it.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Happiness, it is said, is seldom found by those who seek it, and never by those who seek it for
themselves.
-- F. Emerson Andrews Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature
machine gun.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. Lebedyn Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Men are strong only so long as they represent a strong idea. They become powerless when they
oppose it.
-- Sigmund Freud Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to
be perfectly deaf.
-- Oscar Wilde Lebedyn
"If you light a man a fire, he will be warm for a day; if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." (Anonymous) Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
-- Jim Beggs It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
-- Abraham Lincoln "We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) For the majority of People, smoking has a beneficial effect.
-- Dr. Ian G. Macdonald, Los Angeles surgeon, quoted in Newsweek , Nov.18th 1963. Lebedyn If there is any one proof of a man's incompetence, it is the stagnant mentality of a worker who,
doing some small routine job in a vast undertaking, does not care to look beyond the lever of a
machi Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe We seek the comfort of another. Someone to share and share the life we choose. Someone to
help us through the neverending attempt to understand ourselves. And in the end, someone to
comfort us along Lebedyn
Nothing says lovin' like marrying your cousin!
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
-- Mark Twain The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
-- Brian Pickrell If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
-- Virginia Woolf Lebedyn Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you
will become a philosopher.
-- Socrates I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University Lebedyn
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
- Martin Fraquhar Tupper I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
-- Euripides blah "Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree
to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full
of grac During the first period of a man's life the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Lebedyn "The depth and strength of a human character are defined by its moral reserves. People reveal themselves completely only when they are thrown out of the customary conditions of their life, for only th Happiness is nothing more than health and a poor memory.
-- Albert Schweitzer Oregon Democratic Senate candidate Tom Bruggere, in describing his support for
comprehensive health care during a candidates' forum, said he supported "erection-to-
resurrection" coverage. He later a Lebedyn
Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.
-- Sigmund Freud Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
-- Paul Boese I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins It was just him and me. He fought with honor. If it weren't for his honor, he and the others would
have beaten me together. They might have killed me, then. His sense of honor saved my life. I
didn' "He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." (Chinese Proverb) Lebedyn Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his
life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve.
-- Francois Cavanna "Politics is my hobby. Smut is my vocation." (Larry Flynt) Lebedyn
Jealousy is the only vice that gives no pleasure.
-- Anonymous Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?
-- The Artist Formerly Known As Prince She felt in italics and thought in capitals.
-- Henry James Not to anticipate is already to moan.
-- Leonardo da Vinci Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd Lebedyn "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) "It seems to me that almost all our sadnesses are moments of tension, which we feel as paralysis because we no longer hear our astonished emotions living." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poe 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap Lebedyn
The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th "Think where mans glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends." (William Butler Yeats) Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell Thomas Jefferson--still surv...
-- John Adams, dying words "I put on an act sometimes, and people think I'm insensitive. Really, it's like a kind of armor because I'm too sensitive. If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I' Lebedyn Just buy a box of popcorn and a Coca-Cola and sit back and watch.
-- James Carville, Clinton advisor, offering advice for Democrats on the term-limits vote in the
House "I've never let my school interfere with my education." (Mark Twain) "It ends not with a bang, but a whimper." (Thomas Stearns Eliot, aka T. S. Eliot, The Hollow Man) Lebedyn
