"We already have the statistics for the future: the growth percentages of pollution, overpopulation, desertification. The future is already in place." (Günther Grass, Winner of the Nobel Prize for Li The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same
time, and still retain the ability to function.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person
must be fired.
-- Conway's Law Mathematics, rightly viewed, posses not only truth, but supreme beauty -- a beauty cold and
austere, like that of sculpture.
-- Bertrand Russell The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies Novohrad Volynsky They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to
get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all." (Oscar Wilde) Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks Novohrad Volynsky
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) Marriage is the one subject on which all women agree and all men disagree.
-- Oscar Wilde If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada Novohrad Volynsky Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
-- Gail Godwin Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner You will marry into an Indian tribe and become one big Hopi family. Novohrad Volynsky
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute
for life.
-- Andrew Brown I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard "The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize." (Robert Hughes) Novohrad Volynsky I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde "I fear we are not getting rid of God because we still believe in grammar." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
-- Albert Einstein Novohrad Volynsky
Luck is the residue of design.
- Branch Rickey - former owner of the Brooklyn Dodger Baseball Team "Club Secretary: I say, Lawrence. You are a clown!
Lawrence: We can't all be lion tamers." (Thomas Edward Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton Novohrad Volynsky The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without
the sympathy of the community.
-- William James "I offer images; I conjure memories of freedom that can still be reached ... But, we can only open the doors. We can't drag people through. I can't free them unless they want to be free--more than any One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford Novohrad Volynsky
"One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Every act of creation is first an act of destruction." (Pablo Picasso) Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.
-- Anonymous The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
- General George Patton People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only
make $500,000.
-- Pete Incaviglia, baseball player, 1990 Novohrad Volynsky In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats.
-- English Proverb Diplomat: A man who can convince his wife she would look stout in a fur coat. Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett Novohrad Volynsky
I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.
-- Alexandre Dumas pere Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-- H. L. Mencken Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the
consequences.
-- Isadora Duncan Vote for the man who promises least. He'll be the least disappointing.
-- Bernard Baruch "A friendship that exacts oneness of opinion and conduct is not worth much." (Mohandas Gandhi, In Search of the Supreme) Novohrad Volynsky "Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one." (Vladimir Nabokov) A really busy person never knows how much he weighs.
-- Ed Howe You can not apply mathematics as long as words still becloud reality.
-- Hermann Weyl Novohrad Volynsky
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is
always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsch "I am not afraid of tomorrow, for i have seen yesterday and i love today!" (William Allen White) "O' What may man within him hide, though angel on the outward side!" (William Shakespeare) Novohrad Volynsky Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
-- George Bernard Shaw My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
-- Christopher Morley A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
-- Elsa Schiapirelli Novohrad Volynsky
Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read.
-- Button from the Computer Museum, Boston, MA The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
-- George Bernard Shaw The work of internal government has become the task of controlling the thousands of fifth-rate
men.
-- Henry B. Adams Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it,
Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me
de Novohrad Volynsky "... adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, quoted in his obituary, Time) Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in
a car he sticks his head out the window.
-- Steve Bluestone Novohrad Volynsky
I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-- Dorothy Parker At every crossroads on the path that leads to the future, tradition has placed 10,000 men to guard
the past.
-- Maurice Maeterlink Chance is always powerful. - Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it,
there will be a fish.
-- Ovid We can say 'Peace on Earth,' we can sing about it, preach about it or pray about it, but if we have
not internalized the mythology to make it happen inside us, then it will not be.
-- Betty Shabazz If there is any one proof of a man's incompetence, it is the stagnant mentality of a worker who,
doing some small routine job in a vast undertaking, does not care to look beyond the lever of a
machi Novohrad Volynsky I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who
love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw Novohrad Volynsky
Hey, you can't fight in here! This is the war room!
-- Dr. Strangelove If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?
-- Harry Shearer The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone And life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be.
-- Grandma Moses Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cat's Cradle Novohrad Volynsky A dollar saved is a quarter earned.
-- John Ciardi A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e Novohrad Volynsky
Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
-- Albert Einstein Wit is educated insolence.
- Aristotle Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
-- Charles Schultz A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry Novohrad Volynsky Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first.
-- Anonymous "Even death is unreliable. Instead of zero it may be some ghastly hallucination, such as the square root of minus one." (Samuel Beckett) Novohrad Volynsky
