Before marraige a man will like awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage
he will fall asleep before you have finished saying it.
-- Anon. The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short "Today was good. / Today was fun. / Tomorrow is another one." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor L Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
- Napoleon Bonaparte "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." (Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom) If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright L
The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon.
-- Jerry Olson We see the brightness of a new page where everything yet can happen.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke, Book of Hours God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau Character is what you are in the dark.
-- Dwight L. Moody L The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes "One pretty good definition of college is that it's a place where people are made to read difficult books." (Jonathan Franzen) An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie L
There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and
flattens the stomachs.
-- Barbara Howar Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire.
-- Jean de La Fontaine Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though it is hard to
realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and
grie I once asked my history teacher how we were expected to learn anything useful from his subject,
when it seemed to me to be nothing but a monotonous and sordid succession of robber baron
scumbags dev Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau ( L "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
-- Anonymous To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
-- Ghandi L
Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent
ages as much as 20 years.
-- Anonymous "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) "A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." (Claude Rains, as Mr. Dryden, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the
next meal would come from.
-- Peter F. Drucker The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.
-- Yiddish Proverb L To decide, to be at the level of choice, is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of
your life.
-- Abbie M. Dale Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. George Bernard
Shaw (1856 - 1950), The Devil's Disciple (1901) act 3 Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw L
I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf "What dies if freedom lives? What lives if freedom dies?" (Lindsay Anderson, British filmmaker, from if.... (1968) The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live.
-- Joan Borysenko Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death L When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life
of another.
-- Helen Keller "You know that being an American is more than a matter of where your parents came from. It is a belief that all men are created free and equal and that everyone deserves an even break." (Harry S. Tru "Twelve magicians and two carnies have been shot dead doing the bullet catch. That's cool enough, but every night when we close our show with that trick and the loaded gun gets pointed in my face, it L
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.
-- Sophocles Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-- H. L. Mencken Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
- Henry David Thoreau The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed
desperation.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1854) I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it, and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to
me is something else; hard work and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't.
-- Lucille Ball L Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.
-- F. M. Knowles It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed.
They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.
-- John Hogan, Commonwealth I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard L
Destiny is but a phrase of the weak human heart - the dark apology for every error. The strong
and virtuous admit no destiny. On earth conscience guides; in heaven God watches. And destiny
is but th If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all." (John Cage) A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department
store and he asked for my autograph.
-- Shirley Temple Black Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you
together, but do so with all your heart.
-- Marcus Aurelius L The love we give away is the only love we keep.
-- Elbert Hubbard The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you." (Francois Sagan) L
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-- Woody Allen "One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Emerson, Ralph Waldo Books had instant replay long before televised sports.
-- Bern Williams L Some birds aren't meant to be caged, their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away,
the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up, does rejoice. I guess I just miss my friend. "It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else." (John W The work of internal government has become the task of controlling the thousands of fifth-rate
men.
-- Henry B. Adams L
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the
truth.
- Sherlock Holmes "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
-- Groucho Marx "I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang.
-- Tom Robbins L I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or
failure has been dependent on the one he used most.
-- George R. Kirkpatrick L
The first duty of love is to listen.
-- Paul Tillich Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
-- Anonymous Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, 'What?! You too! Thought I was the only one.'" (Clive Staples Lewis) Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from
history.
-- George Bernard Shaw L "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability.
-- Oscar Wilde L
"Think off-center." (George Carlin) "Liberty has never come from the government. Liberty has always come from the subjects of it. The history of liberty is a history of resistance. The history of liberty is a history of limitations of g This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English.
-- Wilfred Sheed I am not young enough to know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde L Do not let yourselves be discouraged or embittered by the smallness of the success you are likely
to achieve in trying to make life better. You certainly would not be able, in a single generation, to "A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." (William Shakespeare) The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted
in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism.
-- Heidi Hartmann, The Unha L
