I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
-- Gore Vidal Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein "Nothing touches a work of art so little as words of criticism: they always result in more or less fortunate misunderstandings." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet) Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
-- William Hazlitt Live truth instead of professing it.
-- Elbert Hubbard T Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
- Rudyard Kipling Jake liked his women the way he liked his kiwi fruit: sweet yet tart, firm-fleshed yet yielding to the
touch, and covered with short brown fuzzy hair.
-- Jonathan S. Haas "I don't believe people die. They just go uptown. To Bloomingdales. They just take longer to get back." (Andy Warhol) T
"I am not afraid of tomorrow, for i have seen yesterday and i love today!" (William Allen White) For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely
unnatural condition.
-- Robert Briffault It is not because it is difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are
difficult.
-- Lucius Anneaus Seneca "I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." (John Cage) Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
-- Josh Billings T All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) T
Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld, Maxims, 1665 Destiny is not a matter of chance; but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, It is a
thing to be acheived.
-- William Jennings Bryant If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.
-- Alphonse Karr To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright T When you're away, I'm restless, lonely
Wretched, bored, dejected; only
here's the rub, my darling dear,
I feel the same when you are here.
-- Samuel Hoffenstein The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted
in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism.
-- Heidi Hartmann, The Unha We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
-- Mme de Staël T
Where there is an unknowable there is a promise.
-- Thornton Wilder Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
-- Henry Ford Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.
-- Thornton Wilder Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor.
-- Joseph Addison T The first duty of love is to listen.
-- Paul Tillich Oregon Democratic Senate candidate Tom Bruggere, in describing his support for
comprehensive health care during a candidates' forum, said he supported "erection-to-
resurrection" coverage. He later a "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." (Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom) T
Every flower must grow through dirt.
-- Anonymous If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or
can die.
-- Thomas Carlyle A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.
-- Edward Abbey T "Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing." (Oscar Wilde) My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. Call on God, but row away from the rocks.
-- Indian proverb T
The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.
-- Winston Churchill We got to roll with the punches, play all of our hunches, make the best of whatever comes your
way. Forget that blind ambition, learn to trust your intuition -- plowing straight ahead, come what
may In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the
next meal would come from.
-- Peter F. Drucker The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience.
-- Harper Lee Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. T The less their ability, the more their conceit.
Ahad HaAm We need the iron qualities that go with true manhood. We need the positive virtues of resolution,
of courage, of indomitable will, of power to do without shrinking the rough work that must always
be "To err is human; to forgive, divine." (Alexander Pope) T
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up
between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf blah "Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together." (Vincent van Gogh) A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker T Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwile careers in the
street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack
of u "When I was four years old they tried to test my IQ, they showed me this picture of three oranges and a pear. They asked me which one is different and does not belong, they taught me different was wro Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
-- H. L. Mencken T
A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.
-- Michael Winner The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
-- Margo Kaufman Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke "Fear is the dark room where the Devil develops his negatives." (Gary Busey) "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) T "Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conquerer. Kill everyone, and you are a god." (Jean Rostand) Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.
-- Edward H. Land The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
-- Albert Einstein T
"For others do I wait ... for higher ones, stronger ones, more triumphant ones, merrier ones, for such as are built squarely in body and soul: laughing lions must come." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley Wind is to fire like distance is to love; it extinguishes the small and enflames the great.
-- Anonymous Watching the debate this afternoon it was apparent they loved term limits in the House -- as
Brutus loved Caesar.
-- Bill Moyers The health of the people is really the foundation upon which all their happiness and all their
powers as a State depend.
-- Benjamin Disraeli T "The most beautiful things in the world are the most useless, peacocks and lilies, for instance." (John Ruskin) "To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die." (Thomas Campbell) Biography lends to death a new terror.
-- Oscar Wilde T
The great end of life is not knowledge, but action. What men need is as much knowledge as they
can organize for action; give them more and it may become injurious. Some men are heavy and
stupid from "Growth in wisdom can be measured precisely by decline in bile." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human) "Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa I date this girl for two years--and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name."
-- Mike Binder T All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton T
To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
-- Karen Sunde Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
-- Fred Allen If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
-- Albert Einstein Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
-- Harriet Beecher Stowe You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories.
-- Stanislaw J. Lem T I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha "It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." (George Washington) If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, give me the electric chair for all my
future crimes.
-- Prince T
