When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
-- Hunter S. Thompson Only positive consequences encourage good future performances.
-- Kenneth H. Blanchard "Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it.
-- Alexandre Dumas fils Music I think, therefore I'm single.
-- Female philosopher He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
-- Mark Twain Music
Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
-- Francis Bacon I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way
around Chinatown.
-- Woody Allen He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're
the boss."
-- Anonymous I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call
me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.
-- Rebecca West, If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover Music We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright "No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous." (Henry B. Adams) Music
Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used.
-- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Music As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
-- Anonymous Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
-- Jerry Garcia Music
A really busy person never knows how much he weighs.
-- Ed Howe For the memory of love is sweet, though the love itself were in vain. And what I have lost of
pleasure, assuage what I find of pain.
-- Lyster I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) The possibility that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause
we believe to be just.
-- Abraham Lincoln Music Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.
-- Thomas Szasz Music
Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.
-- G. K. Chesterton Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
- Lao-Tzu It is not good enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well.
-- Rene Descartes Music "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." (Groucho Marx) "Where there's a marriage without love there will be love without marriage." (Benjamin Franklin) When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find
that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our
pain Music
Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions.
-- Anonymous I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. What's new? Most of my wife. There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one
of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
-- George Bernard Shaw "The face is the soul of the body." (Ludwig Wittgenstein) Music Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
- Mario Andretti When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
-- Helen Rowland Music
Beneath the rule of men entirely great, / The pen is mightier than the sword.
-- Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton, Richelieu, II. ii Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love.
-- French saying "Death solves all problems--no man, no problem." (Josef Stalin) A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
-Robert Frost (1874-1963) "We have so little presumption that we should like to be known in the world, even to those who come after when we are no more. We have so little vanity that the esteem of five people, say six, amuses Music "I was lousy in school. Real screwed-up. A moron. I was antisocial and didn't bother with the other kids. A really bad student. I didn't have any brains. I didn't know what I was doing there. That's w They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to
get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday "I know that God won't give me more trouble than I can handle ... but sometimes I wish he wouldn't trust me so much." (Mother Teresa) Music
"I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes." (Wolfgang Puck, restauranteur) What's new? Most of my wife. Better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.
-- David Chambless He would make a lovely corpse.
- Charles Dickens Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
-- Anonymous Music If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. -- Chekhov "The monster a child knows best and is most concerned with [is] the monster he feels or fears himself to be. " (Bruno Bettelheim, child psychologist) It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
- G. B. Burgin Music
For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt "We have so little presumption that we should like to be known in the world, even to those who come after when we are no more. We have so little vanity that the esteem of five people, say six, amuses Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple, learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a
dozen.
-- John Steinbeck Who, being loved, is poor?
-- Oscar Wilde "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) Music To love another person is to see the face of God.
-- Lyric from Les Miserables Give the people not hell, but hope and courage.
-- John Murray I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
-- Nancy Mitford Music
"An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-- Albert Einstein "The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing." (John Powell) "He who speaks of what he knows not only works hard to portray his ignorance." (Joseph Muchemi) Now comes the mystery.
-- Henry Ward Beecher, dying words, March 8, 1887 Music "Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" (George Bernard Shaw) A conclusion is the place where you got tired thinking.
-- Martin H. Fischer Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life Music
The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are going.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. -- James Holt McGavran I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
-- Anonymous Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.
-- Lauren Bacall I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.
-- Vincent Van Gogh Music It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.
-- Mae West It was a day like this Marco Polo left for China. What are your plans for today?
--Loesje I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh Music
