Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
-- Anonymous I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.
-- Wayne Gretzky "One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) Life is not an easy matter.... You cannot live through it without falling into frustration and cynicism
unless you have before you a great idea which raises you above personal misery, above
weakness Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Brass Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.
-- Al Bernstein Brass
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
-- Henry Kissinger Spinster: A bachelor's wife. Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of
humor is just common sense, dancing.
-- Clive James Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is blissfully
ignorant.
--John Simon Brass If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.
-- Pope John Paul I "To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
-- Alfred A. Knopf Brass
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you.
-- Aldous Huxley Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain "Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." (George Bernard Shaw) Brass Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-- Oscar Wilde Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. "To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Brass
Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
-- William Hazlitt "Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the
bad ones.
-- W. Somerset Maugham My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way. Brass Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart This compact disc is made from analog masters recorded without noise reduction. Half the tracks,
in fact, were recorded in a dismal, cheap basement eight-track studio with puddles of water on
the fl Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.
-- Anonymous Brass
"There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of
bread.
- Mahatma Gandhi Soul meets soul on lovers lips.
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley blah "Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together." (Vincent van Gogh) Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw Brass The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same
time, and still retain the ability to function.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald The nation's honor is dearer than the nation's comfort; yes, than the nation's life itself.
-- Woodrow Wilson Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
-- George Bernard Shaw Brass
Love is friendship set on fire.
- Jeremy Taylor If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the
faculty of laughter.
-- Joseph Addison We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
-- Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles, 1962 Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen.
-- Albert Einstein There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say -- unless you insist on saying it.
-- Anonymous Brass I know I'm not in government anymore. In fact I'm out of work.
-- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President, on a speaking tour of Japan, 1989 "The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones." (William Shakespeare, Julius Cæsar. Act iii. Sc. 2.) The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
- Samuel Johnson Brass
Seek the lofty by reading, hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day.
-- Thornton Wilder We must believe in free will, we have no choice.
-- Isaac B. Singer Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together.
-- Joan Thompson "Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain." (Johann Christian Friedrich von Schiller, 1759-1805, The Maid of Orleans. Act iii. Sc. 6.) Brass "The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions." (John A. Simone Jr.) My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. Live truth instead of professing it.
-- Elbert Hubbard Brass
Knowledge is the intellectual manipulation of carefully verified observations.
-- Sigmund Freud "Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace. If you have a single-minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected..." (Chuck Jones) Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never
were, and ask why not?
-- Robert Francis Kennedy Brass "Education is the process of driving a set of prejudices down your throat." (Martin H. Fischer) A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
-- Buke Ellington The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
-- Margo Kaufman Brass
"Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" (George Bernard Shaw) Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.
- A. J. Liebling "One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people's lives without having to pay the price. I've never been one of those actors who has touted myself as a fascinating human being. I Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
-- Jim Beggs Brass If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.
-- Aaron Machado If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton Brass
A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow
extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment.
-- Robert Hutchins, Great Books, 1954 The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe "You exist only in what you do." (Federico Fellini) I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain Brass I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
-- Will Rogers I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) Brass
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
-- Calvin Trillin Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken "Mistakes are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) Brass We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we
respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
-- H. L. Mencken Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho Ambition is not a vice of little people.
-- Michel de Montaigne Brass
