Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." (Helen Keller) Nothing average ever stood as a monument to progress. When progress is looking for a partner it
doesn't turn to those who believe they are only average. It turns instead to those who are forever
sea "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) "We have to be able to criticise what we love, to say what we have to say 'cause if your not trying to make something better, than as far as I can tell, you are just in the way." (Ani Difranco) Alternative You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they
do.
-- Olin Miller His ignorance is encyclopedic
- Abba Eban I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx Alternative
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
-- Henry Ford Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-- Oscar Wilde I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability.
-- Oscar Wilde "Humans beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid." (Dean Koontz, Seize the Night) "A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." (Henry B. Adams) Alternative In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. "The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves." (William Hazlitt) "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Alternative
When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.
-- Oscar Wilde Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
- H. M. Warner, founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927 He that always gives way to others will end in having no principles of his own.
-- Aesop Alternative How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it
a leg.
-- Abraham Lincoln "Every act of creation is first an act of destruction." (Pablo Picasso) We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind
her stands his wife.
-- Groucho Marx Alternative
I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the
marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.
-- Bette Davis Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to
take away.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
-- T. S. Eliot "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." (George Orwell) Alternative Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
-- Lord Dewar There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.
-- Oscar Wilde Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. Alternative
If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be
closed for any other business.
-- Abraham Lincoln If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.
-- Anonymous Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
-- Pancho Villa, dying words "Education must have an end in view, for it is not an end in itself." (Sybil Marshall) I think, therefore I'm single.
-- Female philosopher Alternative We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
-- Aristotle "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." (Ambrose Redmoon) "Death where is thy sting? Love, where is thy glory?" (William Shakespeare) Alternative
"Education must have an end in view, for it is not an end in itself." (Sybil Marshall) Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
-- George Santayana "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") "Our lives are repetitious shams--every single day a simulacrum of the previous day. So for Man, he is out to pepper his daily activities with different things--he's fighting against boredom." (Matth Alternative The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up
between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong "A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." (Claude Rains, as Mr. Dryden, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) Alternative
A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
-- Anonymous Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
-- Albert Einstein The fantasy which serves as a support for the figure of the Stalinist Communist is therefore
exactly the same as the fantasy which is at work in the Tom and Jerry cartoons.
-- Slavoj Zizek Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain "Someday there will be girls and women whose name will no longer mean the mere opposite of the male, but something in itself, something that makes one think not of any compliment and limit, but only o Alternative Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great.
-- William Shakespeare, Henry IV "If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." (Anatole France) "Those who hear not the music think the dancers mad." (Anonymous) Alternative
I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call the time Eternity." (Jerzy Kosinski, Polish novelist, from his suicide note) "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-- Will Rogers Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
-- George Bernard Shaw Alternative Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does
come, we no longer exist.
-- Epicurus We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were
reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing,
and "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." (Paul Boese) Alternative
Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower Love means to love that which is unlovable; or it is no virtue at all.
-- G. K. Chesterton Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
-- Anonymous "No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, g Alternative "How wondrous familiar is a fool!" (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Icky icky icky icky fKANG zoop-boing n zowzyin...
-- The Knights who so recently said "Nee!", Monty Python, British comedy television show "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) Alternative
He would make a lovely corpse.
- Charles Dickens When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are
legislators.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-- Albert Einstein Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
-- Aristotle "No one lies so boldly as the man who is indignant." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Alternative He who limps is still walking.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec "The happy people are failures because they are on such good terms with themselves they don't give a damn." (Agatha Christie) If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a 'fix' of
something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than
cocaine.
Alternative
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett Asking politicians to vote themselves out of power is like asking rabbits not to multiply, it ain't
natural.
-- Bob Beckel, on term limits, CBS This Morning, 3/30/95 Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage,
he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
-- Helen Roland The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be
feasible.
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper prop Alternative If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others.
-- Tryon Edwards My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a
philosopher.
- Socrates Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine Alternative
