Jongleurs Comedy Clubs - Comedy clubs throughout UK featuring stand up comedians, audio clips, show tickets and merchandise.
The Comedy Store - Listings and information on the premier stand up venues.
Chortle - News, reviews and listings for the UK comedy scene.
They Simply Made Us Laugh - A personal tribute to a handful of the best loved and funniest men of British comedy.
RadioNewt - Comedy reviews from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, plus an archive of past reviews and a section on Deek Allen, comedy hero of the Fringe.
Phil Collinge and Andy Lord - Scriptwriting for television, radio, film and stage. Offers a profile and portfolio.
"The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding." (Albert Camus) Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill "Every great institution is the lengthened shadow of a single man. His character determines the character of the organization." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
-- Baskins Comedy ... it is certain that the real function of art is to increase our self-consciousness; to make us more
aware of what we are, and therefore of what the universe in which we live really is. And since
No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in
love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Gandhi Comedy
Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crowf "It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions.
-- John Randolph The artist alone sees spirits. But after he has told of their appearing to him, everybody sees them.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Comedy I don't feel good.
-- Luther Burbank, dying words I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show "Ninety percent of my salary I spent on booze and women ... and the other ten percent I wasted." (Tug McGraw, Major League Baseball pitcher) Comedy
"What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to a human soul." (Joseph Addison) "People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. How could they tell?
-- Dorothy Parker, upon hearing that President Coolidge had died "The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n Comedy My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.
Harry S. Truman Comedy
Success is just a matter of attitude.
-- Darcy E. Gibbons In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
- Martin Luther King Jr. If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Sir Winston Churchill I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha Asking politicians to vote themselves out of power is like asking rabbits not to multiply, it ain't
natural.
-- Bob Beckel, on term limits, CBS This Morning, 3/30/95 Comedy "It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question." (Eugene Ionesco) Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
-- Wynn Catlin, also attributed to Will Rogers Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars
-- Les Brown Comedy
All courage is a form of constancy. It is always himself that a coward abandons first. After this all
other betrayals come.
-- Cormac McCarthy "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation.
-- Latin Proverb blah "Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure." (Thomas Alva Edison) The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the
betterment of life.
-- Henry Ford Comedy The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.
- Andrew Marvell Thought is action in rehearsal.
-- Sigmund Freud Comedy
This compact disc is made from analog masters recorded without noise reduction. Half the tracks,
in fact, were recorded in a dismal, cheap basement eight-track studio with puddles of water on
the fl "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) Women: If they're not turning down your proposals for marriage, they're accusing you of
suspicious behavior in the women's lingerie changing room.
-- Cliff Clavin, character on "Cheers", U.S. Televi They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
-- Antonio Porchi When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home.
-- Betty Bender Comedy "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.
-- Wayne Gretzky Comedy
It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) We do not remember days; we remember moments.
-- Anonymous There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world; and that is an idea whose time has
come.
-- Victor Hugo Comedy Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
-- George Jean Nathan Genius is 99 percent perspiration and 1 percent inspiration.
-- Thomas Edison Comedy
"A man who flies from his fear may find he has only taken a shortcut to meet it." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) There's no problem so awful that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse!
-- Calvin "Dreams are the touchstones of our personality." (Henry David Thoreau) In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice
that I am not a Republican.
-- H. L. Mencken The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone Comedy The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. -- S. T. Coleridge The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
-- Niels Bohr The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero Comedy
"Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. "This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one." (Arthur C. Clarke) There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "Vegiburgers are wrong." (Mike Kaup) Comedy I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it
a leg.
-- Abraham Lincoln Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan Comedy
"This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.
-- Alexandre Dumas pere No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra "Hold a true friend with both your hands." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Comedy Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without
feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex,
the ugl Epperson's law:
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. -- S. T. Coleridge Comedy
It is best to learn as we go, not go as we have learned.
-- Leslie Jeanne Sahler There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and
flattens the stomachs.
-- Barbara Howar "Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well, too." (David Malcolm Storey) Every major horror of history was committed in the name of an altruistic motive.
-- Ayn Rand "Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking." (H. Jackson Brown (Jr.) Comedy I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) Comedy
