In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work I don't feel good.
-- Luther Burbank, dying words Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-
inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least
expect i "In every gathering of thirteen, expect one guest will turn out to be a Judas." (Aleister Crowley) Anything too stupid to be said, is sung.
-- Voltaire B Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
- H. G. Wells "If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world." (Blaise Pascal) I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call the time Eternity." (Jerzy Kosinski, Polish novelist, from his suicide note) B
Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you
yourself have altered.
-- Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom "Courage is found in unlikely places." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good
marriage
-- Martin Luther B A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire Do you not know, my son, with what little understanding the world is ruled?
-- Pope Julius III Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with
it.
-- Colin Powell B
The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted
in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism.
-- Heidi Hartmann, The Unha The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the
betterment of life.
-- Henry Ford "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) "Nothing is permanent but change." (Heraclitus) Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen.
-- Albert Einstein B The coziness between church and state is good for the state and bad for the church.
-- G. K. Chesterton "If a man has good corn, or wood, or boards, or pigs to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles, or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad, hard-beaten road to his house, If the government wants people to respect the law, it should set a better example.
-- Anon. B
Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins.
-- Sioux Indian Prayer "I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence." (Edger Allen Poe) A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) B We never live; we are always in the expectation of living.
-- Voltaire Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-- LaRouchefoucauld Hell is other people.
- Jean-Paul Sartre B
"Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman
is one who can find such a man.
-- Lana Turner The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
-- Karl Barth Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. B A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope "Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you, they belong not to you. You may gi Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
-- George Clemenceau B
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley He who knows nothing, knows nothing. But he who knows he knows nothing knows something. And he who knows someone whose friend's wife's brother knows nothing, he knows something. Or something like that "One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people's lives without having to pay the price. I've never been one of those actors who has touted myself as a fascinating human being. I Teach a parrot the terms "supply and demand" and you've got an economist.
-- Thomas Carlyle The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 B "Defeat the fear of death and welcome the death of fear." (G. Gordon Liddy) I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about "short" and
"cheap"?
-- Phyllis Diller When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
-- Helen Rowland B
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because
generally they are the same people.
-- G. K. Chesterton You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or
play.
-- WARREN BEATTY "The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions." (John A. Simone Jr.) Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or
theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana B Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
-- Albert Camus "The dancer's body is simply the luminous manifestation of the soul." (Isadora Duncan) B
The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously.
-- Nicholas Murray Butler No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
- William Jennings Bryan A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
-- H. L. Mencken The average person thinks he isn't.
- Father Larry Lorenzoni When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry B Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.
-- Anaïs Nin B
What's new? Most of my wife. If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?
-- Albert Einstein He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J. Heller Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live.
-- Joan Borysenko B 'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
-- Alfred, Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam, 1850, line 27, stanza 4 If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt It is absurd to divide people into good or bad. People are either charming or tedious.
-- Oscar Wilde B
To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive, and the true success is to labour.
-- Robert L. Stevenson Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa It is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions.
-- Aldous Huxley Why don't you write books people can read?
-- Nora Joyce, to her husband James Seek the lofty by reading, hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day.
-- Thornton Wilder B I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
- Cicero "I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand." (Confucius, 551 BC-479) "Murderers have been known to find that young girls give them more trouble than anybody else." (Jean Cocteau, Les Enfants Terribles) B
In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the
next meal would come from.
-- Peter F. Drucker The open-minded see the truth in different things: the narrow-minded see only the differences.
-- Author Unknown "Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
-- Irwin Corey I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers B "These are days you'll remember." If you recall nothing else from your graduation ceremony,
remember you heard the New Jersey Governor quote from 10,000 Maniacs.
-- Christine Todd, NJ Governor, Whea Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham B
