If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-- Johnny Carson The great man fights the elements in his time that hinder his own greatness, in other words his own freedom and sincerity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. -- S. T. Coleridge "The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore." (Samuel Butler) Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
-- Martin Mull K If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings.
-- Lisa Moriyama Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton K
If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Sir Winston Churchill The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. "Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my usual manner...sulking and nausea.
-- Tom K. Ryan K To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.
-- Francis Crawford Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them
down people's throats.
-- Howard Aiken A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.
-- Christopher Morley K
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
-- Henny Youngman We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person
perfectly.
-- Anonymous The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the
betterment of life.
-- Henry Ford "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) K There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor "Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em." (William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night, II:5) Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
- Sir Winston Churchill K
"There is no sin except stupidity." (Oscar Wilde) I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
-- Calvin Trillin "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone) K I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- Irvin S. Cobb "They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." (Andy Warhol) "Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) K
Man and wife make one fool. "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream." (Eleanor Roosevelt) He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
-- Anonymous When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims
of intact ones.
-- Peter DeVries The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde K "I was born lost and take no pleasure in being found..." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.
-- F. M. Knowles Jake liked his women the way he liked his kiwi fruit: sweet yet tart, firm-fleshed yet yielding to the
touch, and covered with short brown fuzzy hair.
-- Jonathan S. Haas K
"You believe that flag burning shows disrespect towards those who have fought to preserve our freedoms. Punishing protestors shows an even more profound disrespect for the ideals that these people die Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) Live TV died in the late 1950s, electronic bulletin boards came along in the mid-1980s, meaning
there was about a 25-year gap when it was difficult to put your foot in your mouth and have
people all K "Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies." (Gore Vidal) "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to
vote for Colonel Sanders.
-- Bob Inglis, 1995 K
It was a day like this Marco Polo left for China. What are your plans for today?
--Loesje Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous "Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to
degeneration without the usual intervention of civilization.
-- George Clemenceau K Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 Politics have no relation to morals.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli K
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
-- Gore Vidal "The happy people are failures because they are on such good terms with themselves they don't give a damn." (Agatha Christie) Life is not an easy matter.... You cannot live through it without falling into frustration and cynicism
unless you have before you a great idea which raises you above personal misery, above
weakness A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally
stopping before it gets there.
-- Agnes Repplier "Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies." (Gore Vidal) K Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
-- Clifton Fadiman Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain K
To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
-- Ghandi Soul meets soul on lovers lips.
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-- Mae West Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and
hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in
Heaven.
-- P. J K May you learn to perform miracles: earn a living and marry off your daughters. No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
- Karl Wallenda K
I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.
-- John Cage My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
- Rudyard Kipling "Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Walk beside me and just be my friend." (Albert Camus) Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
-- Anonymous K Experience teaches only the teachable.
-- Aldous Huxley "My daughter has never forgiven me. for what, I don't know, because for years, she won't speak to me. She blackens my name in the press and makes me think abortion is an excellent idea." (Klaus Kinsk The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
-- Winston Churchill K
I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
-- G. K. Chesterton God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this
is true.
-- James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock I've been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years. K You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's
arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll, Outside I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
-- Elvis Presley The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when
we created them.
- Albert Einstein K
