Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce "I always thought a dog-lover was a dog who loved another dog." (James Thurber) "To make a living, craftiness is better than learnedness." (Pierre-Augustin de Beaumarchais) "For better or for worse, our company (The News Corporation Ltd.) is a reflection of my thinking, my character, my values." (Keith Rupert Murdoch, media mogul, 1931-) I must follow the people. Am I not their leader?
-- Benjamin Disraeli U Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
-- Danny Kaye Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness
are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser
tha U
Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board An understanding heart is everything is a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One
looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our
human Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.
-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash U If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
- George Bernard Shaw You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.
-- W.S. Gilbert "The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize." (Robert Hughes) U
"I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
-- Albert Einstein There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
-- Albert Einstein Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon "The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi U "The brighter you are, the more you have to learn." (Don Herold) He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.
-- Terry Cohen Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the
wrong remedies.
-- Groucho Marx U
All you need is love.
-- The Beatles, song title Live TV died in the late 1950s, electronic bulletin boards came along in the mid-1980s, meaning
there was about a 25-year gap when it was difficult to put your foot in your mouth and have
people all The open-minded see the truth in different things: the narrow-minded see only the differences.
-- Author Unknown We seek the comfort of another. Someone to share and share the life we choose. Someone to
help us through the neverending attempt to understand ourselves. And in the end, someone to
comfort us along A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally
stopping before it gets there.
-- Agnes Repplier U Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.
- Paul Erdos "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) U
These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm
upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again, may God hold you in
the palm U Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does
come, we no longer exist.
-- Epicurus If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis "I think all great innovations are built on rejections." (Louis-Ferdinand Céline) U
Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben More than kisses, letters mingle souls.
-- John Donne "For better or for worse, our company (The News Corporation Ltd.) is a reflection of my thinking, my character, my values." (Keith Rupert Murdoch, media mogul, 1931-) The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I U In the end, everything is a gag.
- Charlie Chaplin "Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" (George Bernard Shaw) Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau U
Who, being loved, is poor?
-- Oscar Wilde When a girl marries she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland blah "You shall find out how salt is the taste of another man's bread, and how hard is the way up and down another man's stairs." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley "I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mou U Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-- H. L. Mencken A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire U
Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
- Martin Fraquhar Tupper "If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way." (Mark Twain) Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your It was the greatest of the imperfect ventriloquist acts: when his lips moved, her body sang.
-- Tom Robbins U By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you
will become a philosopher.
-- Socrates Experience teaches only the teachable.
-- Aldous Huxley "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) U
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
-- W. C. Fields I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call the time Eternity." (Jerzy Kosinski, Polish novelist, from his suicide note) "It seems to me that almost all our sadnesses are moments of tension, which we feel as paralysis because we no longer hear our astonished emotions living." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poe When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow We have a habit in writing articles published in scientific journals to make the work as finished as
possible, to cover up all the tracks, to not worry about the blind alleys or describe how you had U "I should reproach him for not giving us enough evidence." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970, what he would say to God if they 'met') Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- H. L. Mencken U
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his.
-- Oscar Wilde Half of the American people never read a newspaper.
Half never voted for President.
One hopes it is the same half.
-- Gore Vidal When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
-- Buckminster "A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones." (Cher) It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. U Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.
-- George Bernard Shaw "A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) U
Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is blissfully
ignorant.
--John Simon Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
-- Albert Einstein Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt.
-- Jose Ortega y Gasset Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner U I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it.
And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
-- George Bus The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell "Some people wear their heart up on their sleeve. I wear mine underneath my right pant leg, strapped to my boot." (Ani Difranco) U
