"A man is only as faithful as his opportunity." (Chris Rock) "People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem
mild harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's
chara This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it.
-- Anonymous Z To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
-- Ghandi I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used.
-- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with
typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright Z
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way
around the laws.
- Plato If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan We have only one person to blame, and that's each other.
-- Barry Beck, New York Ranger, on who started a fight furing a hockey game And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-- Abraham Lincoln Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin Z "It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard." (Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, US writer) I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the
advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults of the first.
-- Benjamin Franklin A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
-- Thomas Carruthers Z
Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the
gentleman.
-- Herbert Spencer Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
-- Richard Braunstein Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx Z blah bl "The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning, but without understanding." (Louis Brandeis) He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat Z
Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.
-- Samuel Johnson When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life
of another.
-- Helen Keller All science is concerned with the relationship of cause and effect. Each scientific discovery
increases man's ability to predict the consequences of his actions and thus his ability to control
futur Why doesn't she like me? Is it my hair, my overbite, the fact that I've worn the same shirt and
shorts for the last four years?
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated tele "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) Z Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 "Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil) Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. Z
Men are strong only so long as they represent a strong idea. They become powerless when they
oppose it.
-- Sigmund Freud "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." (John Benfield) I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
-- Gore Vidal Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock "We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones." (Andrew A. Rooney) Z If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.
-- Marcus Aurelius Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board "God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) Z
"Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, 'What?! You too! Thought I was the only one.'" (Clive Staples Lewis) The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool.
-- Voltaire Free will is a golden thread running through the frozen matrix of fixed events.
-- Robert A. Heinlein _The Rolling Stones_ "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) Z If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
-- Albert Einstein Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of
poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-- John Cage Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Z
"I think people resist freedom because they're afraid of the unknown. But it's ironic....That unknown was once very well known. It's where are souls belong....The only solution is to confront them--co Work is a four-letter word.
-- The Smiths (Morrissey) "I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is." (Alan Watts) God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if
he finds her.
-- Benjamin Tillett Nothing average ever stood as a monument to progress. When progress is looking for a partner it
doesn't turn to those who believe they are only average. It turns instead to those who are forever
sea Z Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
-- Stephen Leacock There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never
were, and ask why not?
-- Robert Francis Kennedy The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell Z
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to
take away.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
- Niels Bohr "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is
always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsch Z Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.
-- Ray Bandy Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th Z
If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
-- Scott Adams "By seeing the seed of failure in every success, we remain humble. By seeing the seed of success in every failure we remain hopeful." (Mel Ziegler, founder of Banana Republic) "I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mou You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your
temper or self-confidence.
-- Robert Frost People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get
what they want.
-- David Mamet Z Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.
-- Chinese Proverb There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University Z
"I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings.
-- Lisa Moriyama We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person
perfectly.
-- Anonymous Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.
-- Ray Bandy I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon Z All television is children's television.
-- Richard P. Adler The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to
be grateful.
-- Phyllis McGinley Z
"I met someone on the street who said wasn't it great that we're going to have a movie star for president, that it was so Pop, and (laughs) when you think about it like that, it is great, it's so Amer "I think all great innovations are built on rejections." (Louis-Ferdinand Céline) I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey "They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." (Andy Warhol) They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to
run his, either.
-- Anonymous Z We can do not great things - only small things with great love.
-- Mother Theresa The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
-- Kin Hubbard Z
