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Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the
truth.
- Sherlock Holmes Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford Sales The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
-- Ernest Hemingway "I was born lost and take no pleasure in being found..." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Sales
"We have so little presumption that we should like to be known in the world, even to those who come after when we are no more. We have so little vanity that the esteem of five people, say six, amuses Question: Ted Kennedy: "Where was George?"
Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife "It is neccessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live." (Alexander Dumas) Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as
children.
-- Libby Gelman-Waxner I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein Sales I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.
-- Alexandre Dumas pere Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a
madhouse.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Women: If they're not turning down your proposals for marriage, they're accusing you of
suspicious behavior in the women's lingerie changing room.
-- Cliff Clavin, character on "Cheers", U.S. Televi Sales
What is the answer? In that case, what is the question?
-- Gertrude Stein, dying words Knowledge is the intellectual manipulation of carefully verified observations.
-- Sigmund Freud If pleasures are greatest in anticipation, just remember that this is also true of trouble.
-- Elbert Hubbard I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
-- Adela Rogers St. John I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
-- Will Rogers Sales Destiny is not a matter of chance; but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, It is a
thing to be acheived.
-- William Jennings Bryant "God's creatures, great and small ... eat them one, eat them all." (John A. Simone Sr.) The real test of friendship is: Can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy
together those moments of life that are utterly simple? They are the moments people looks back
on at Sales
The tragedy of life is not that man loses, but that he almost wins.
-- Heywood Brown blah "The best students always are flunking. Every good teacher knows that." (Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance) "Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas." (Anonymous) Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband. Sales "Some people must go to extremes to get the world in balance for themselves. Some can't bear bright lights, so wherever they go they search for the dark; they turn the lights down, anything to sustain [You reporters] should have printed what he meant, not what he said.
-- Earl Bush, press aide to Richard Daley The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and
remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't
work and the Sales
"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx "The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn." (David Russell) Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.
-- Hermione Gingold Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. Sales Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on
a date.
-- Caroline Rhea "Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." (Erica Jong) "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) Sales
"If a man does not make new acquaintances as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, sir, should keep his friendship in a constant repair." (Samuel Johnson) The multitude is always in the wrong.
-- Wentworth Dillon, Earl of Roscommon, 1684 We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind
her stands his wife.
-- Groucho Marx When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims
of intact ones.
-- Peter DeVries Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim
poses.
-- John Weitz, American Designer Sales "I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough." (M. C. Escher) The health of the people is really the foundation upon which all their happiness and all their
powers as a State depend.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door
and just visit now and then.
-- Katharine Hepburn Sales
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
- Isaac Asimov Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible
by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco And gain is gain, however small.
-- Robert Browning Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that he sometimes has to eat them.
-- Adlai Stevenson Sales It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being.
-- Benjamin Disraeli The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard Epperson's law:
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. Sales
"The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding." (Albert Camus) I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
-- W. C. Fields Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so
brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind.
-- Cindy Crawford, supermodel It is not because it is difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are
difficult.
-- Lucius Anneaus Seneca Sales The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of
them, it's considered to be your style.
-- Fred Astaire If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been
widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams Sales
blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper I married beneath me. All women do.
-- Lady Nancy Astor, attributed Free will is a golden thread running through the frozen matrix of fixed events.
-- Robert A. Heinlein _The Rolling Stones_ Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
-- Albert Einstein Sales Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.
-- Anonymous "Twelve magicians and two carnies have been shot dead doing the bullet catch. That's cool enough, but every night when we close our show with that trick and the loaded gun gets pointed in my face, it "The biggest argument against democracy is a five minute discussion with the average voter." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) Sales
blah "A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking." (H. Jackson Brown (Jr.) Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
- Bertrand Russell There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
-- Will Rogers Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each
other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's
nerves Sales "I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending that haunts our sleep so much as the fear ... that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived." (Rabbi H How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it.
-- Alexandre Dumas fils Someday is not a day of the week.
-- Anon. Sales
I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?
-- Jim Scheibel, mayor, St. Paul MN "I am not afraid of tomorrow, for i have seen yesterday and i love today!" (William Allen White) The person who is slowest in making a promise is most faithful in its performance.
-- Jean-Jacques Rousseau "To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Once spirit was God, then it became man, and now it is even becoming mob." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Sales "One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people's lives without having to pay the price. I've never been one of those actors who has touted myself as a fascinating human being. I Silence is as full of potential wisdom and wit as the unhewn marble of a great sculpture.
-- Aldous Huxley In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
- Martin Luther King Jr. Sales
