The Best Scottish Weddings - Directory of wedding services for the bride and groom planning their wedding in Scotland.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane "Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent." (Napoleon Bonaparte) If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister? It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out next morning it was
someone else.
-- Rogers Magazines The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
- Elbert Hubbard Magazines
2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben Live truth instead of professing it.
-- Elbert Hubbard The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is
not read.
-- Oscar Wilde Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks Magazines The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute
for life.
-- Andrew Brown Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
-- Josh Billings Mathematics transfigures the fortuitous concourse of atoms into the tracery of the finger of God.
-- Herbert Westren Turnbull Magazines
If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.
-- Anonymous When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.
-- Moliere "Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die tomorrow." (James Dean) It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-- Gore Vidal Magazines In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the
next meal would come from.
-- Peter F. Drucker Drink to me.
-- Pablo Picasso, dying words Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of
the other person.
-- Mark Twain Magazines
I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun May you grow so rich your widow's second husband never has to worry about a living, God forbid. War is a profession by which a man cannot live honorably; an employment by which the soldier, if
he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli Magazines For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-
knowing.
- Henry Louis Mencken The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra Magazines
Matters of religion should never be matters of controversy. We neither argue with a lover about
his taste, not condemn him, if we are just, for knowing so human a passion.
-- George Santayana "Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) "Mothers spend a lifetime excising from their sons the influence of their fathers." (Arthur Lotti) >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I Magazines "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld My good intentions are completely lethal.
-- Margaret Atwood Magazines
All human actions are equivalent... and... all are on principle doomed...
-- Jean-Paul Sartre, "Being and Nothingness" Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but
as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
-- Henry Kissinger "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) Magazines Anything too stupid to be said, is sung.
-- Voltaire Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What
do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with ano Magazines
Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
--Anon. "I am a part of all that I have met." (Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1809-1892, English poet) "If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.
-- James Reston Magazines Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
-- James Baldwin Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way. Magazines
>From the Far East I send you one single thought, one sole idea--written in red on every
beachhead form Australia to Tokyo--There is no substitute for victory!
-- General Douglas MacArthur "I do not suppose I shall be remembered for anything. But I don't think about my work in those terms. It is just as vulgar to work for the sake of posterity as to work for the sake of money." (George You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
-- Yogi Berra "I do not suppose I shall be remembered for anything. But I don't think about my work in those terms. It is just as vulgar to work for the sake of posterity as to work for the sake of money." (George Marriage is a trip between Niagara Falls and Reno. Magazines It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
-- Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the
top.
-- Ed Abbey Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man. Magazines
If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised.
-- Dorothy Parker The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce "I am a part of all that I have met." (Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1809-1892, English poet) Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. George Bernard
Shaw (1856 - 1950), The Devil's Disciple (1901) act 3 Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way
around the laws.
- Plato Magazines "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
-- William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act i. Sc. 1. Every flower must grow through dirt.
-- Anonymous Magazines
Happiness is nothing more than health and a poor memory.
-- Albert Schweitzer The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero Love is the flower of life, and blossoms unexpectedly and without law, and must be plucked
where it is found, and enjoyed for the brief hour of its duration.
-- D. H. Lawrence Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage,
he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.
-- Helen Roland As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.
-- Abraham Lincoln Magazines I don't feel good.
-- Luther Burbank, dying words "Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) "A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." (William Shakespeare) Magazines
Your every voter, as surely as your chief magistrate, exercises a public trust.
-- Grover Cleveland History repeats itself; that's one of the things that's wrong with history.
-- Clarence Darrow Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW "The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi It is never too late to be what you might have been.
-- George Eliot Magazines They're almost inseparable. Sometimes it takes ten people to separate them.
-- Anonymous Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil
underneath.
-- Jacob Braude Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing
they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken Magazines
