The democratic theory is that if you accumulate enough ignorance at the polls, you produce
intelligence.
-- Philo Vance Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death "I don't believe people die. They just go uptown. To Bloomingdales. They just take longer to get back." (Andy Warhol) Marriage is the one subject on which all women agree and all men disagree.
-- Oscar Wilde Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz A It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Good friends are good for your health.
-- Irwin Sarason A
"Well begun is half done." (Aristotle) Epperson's law:
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. I know I'm not in government anymore. In fact I'm out of work.
-- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President, on a speaking tour of Japan, 1989 Half of the American people never read a newspaper.
Half never voted for President.
One hopes it is the same half.
-- Gore Vidal My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music.
-- Vladimir Nabokov A Grad school is the snooze button on the clock-radio of life.
-- John Rogers, comedian (who holds a graduate degree in physics) Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life
of another.
-- Helen Keller A
A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally
stopping before it gets there.
-- Agnes Repplier If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be
closed for any other business.
-- Abraham Lincoln Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw "If you want a thing done well, do it yourself." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot A It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
- Oscar Wilde The better part of one's life consists of his friendships.
-- Abraham Lincoln The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be
feasible.
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper prop A
Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 "You exist only in what you do." (Federico Fellini) All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen
closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping.
-- Paul Jacob, Term Limits Executive Di If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like
a black mistake.
-- D. H. Lawrence A Never look at the trombones. You'll only encourage them.
-- Richard Strauss, on conducting Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window.
You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
-- Jean Ke People, like nails, lose their effectiveness when they lose direction and begin to bend.
-- Walter Savage Landor A
Ninety percent of the game is half mental.
-- Yogi Berra It's no credit to anyone to work to hard.
-- Ed Howe Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to.
-- Mark Twain When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his
cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
Uncl "I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you and education." (Wilson Mizner) A He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
-- Tom Robbins Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached. A
You can always amend a big plan, but you can never expand a little one. I don't believe in little
plans. I believe in plans big enough to meet a situation which we can't possibly foresee now.
-- Ha Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns A In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been
widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams It is best to learn as we go, not go as we have learned.
-- Leslie Jeanne Sahler Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
-- Frank L. Visco, How to Write Good A
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov The artist alone sees spirits. But after he has told of their appearing to him, everybody sees them.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe All you need is love.
-- The Beatles, song title "In times of change learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." (Eric Hoffer) "Courageous, untroubled, mocking and violent--that is what Wisdom wants us to be. Wisdom is a woman, and loves only a warrior." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A "We already have the statistics for the future: the growth percentages of pollution, overpopulation, desertification. The future is already in place." (Günther Grass, Winner of the Nobel Prize for Li "We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Gandhi A
When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. "God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before
marriage, which is never advisable.
-- Oscar Wilde An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
-- Thomas Jefferson A Courage is the price that Love exacts for granting peace.
-- Amelia Earhart The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical
deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!
-- Mark Russell A
The story of a love is not important - what is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps
the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity.
-- Helen Hayes I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
- Helen Rowland Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing
they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're
entitled to a little fun first.
-- Anonymous A What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995 "The biggest argument against democracy is a five minute discussion with the average voter." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) You will marry into an Indian tribe and become one big Hopi family. A
Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw "I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower."
"Oh yeah, well I'm so insane, I voted for Eisenhower TWICE!"
-- Ken Kesey from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." (Henry Louis Mencken) "People who cease to believe in God or goodness altogether still believe in the devil. I don't know why. No, I do indeed know why. Evil is always possible. And goodness is eternally difficult." (Anne A "The man who never made a mistake never made anything." (Derek Longdon, Tongariro Power Development, Turangi, New Zealand) An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
-- Alfred A. Knopf I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
-- Adela Rogers St. John A
This world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
-- Horace Walpole "When you have nothing to say, say nothing." (Charles Caleb Colton) "Everybody knows that if you are too careful, you become so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something." (Gertrude Stein) Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
-- Aldous Huxley A The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One
cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the
marvelous str The most savage controversies are about those matters as to which there is no good evidence
either way.
-- Bertrand Russell Trust, but verify.
-- Ronald Reagan A
