Lawrence Clarke Ltd - Independent financial advisors based in Fareham, Hampshire.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
-- General George Patton Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason "Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them." (Samuel Butler) I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with
typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright "Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss." (Hal Holbrook, Wallstreet) L There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to
learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.
-- Michel de Montaigne He who limps is still walking.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde L
A good cook is like a sorceress who dispenses happiness.
-- Elsa Schiapirelli Conversation, fastidious Goddess, loves blood better than brick, and feasts most subtly on the
human will.
-- Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the
first half.
Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821 - 1881) Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of
the other person.
-- Mark Twain L "Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." (Eddie Rickenbacker) "For how can one know color in perpetual green, and what good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness?" (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.
-- Abraham Lincoln L
"Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard)." (Edgar R. Fiedler) Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
-- Aldous Huxley Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow L The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
-- George Bernard Shaw The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson Education is the state-controlled manufacture of echoes.
-- Norman Douglas L
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) blah "It is a grand mistake to think of being great without goodness and I pronounce it as certain that there was never a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous." (Benjamin Fran Sex is God's joke on human beings.
-- Bette Davis In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been
widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician L "The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I'm basically an optimist in life but this doesn't prevent me from deducing as a scientist that we are probably doomed." (Vladimir Chaloupka, physicist, University of Washington, regarding mankind's You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
- Gilbert Keith Chesterton L
My Alma mater was books, a good library . . . . I could spend the rest of my life reading, just
satisfying my curiosity.
--Malcolm X I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to
heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need
more supervision.
-- Lynn Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise L Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.
-- Anonymous Music is the art of thinking with sounds.
-- Jules Combarieu The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten.
-- Mark Twain L
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
-- Harry S. Truman You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
-- Albert Camus "Not only is there no guarantee of the temporal immortality of the human soul, that is to say of its eternal survival after death; but, in any case, this assumption completely fails to accomplish the A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh "Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies." (Gore Vidal) L With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.
-- Abraham Lincoln There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken L
"Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain." (Johann Christian Friedrich von Schiller, 1759-1805, The Maid of Orleans. Act iii. Sc. 6.) There is nothing that can be said by mathematical symbols and relations which cannot also be
said by words. The converse, however, is false. Much that can be and is said by words cannot
successfully "I am not afraid of tomorrow, for i have seen yesterday and i love today!" (William Allen White) "Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I don't know exactly what democracy is. But we need more of it.
-- Anonymous Chinese Student, during protests in Tianamen Square, Beijing, 1989 L "It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books--what other men do not say in whole books." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols) For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper L
If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
- George Burns This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. L Why yes -- a bulletproof vest.
-- James Rodges, murderer, on his final request before the firing squad How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it
a leg.
-- Abraham Lincoln I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President L
"Kill a man, and you are a murderer. Kill millions of men, and you are a conquerer. Kill everyone, and you are a god." (Jean Rostand) As always, victory finds a hundred fathers but defeat is an orphan.
-- Count Galeazzo Ciano, The Ciano Diaries When looking back, usually I'm more sorry for the things I didn't do than for the things I shouldn't
have done.
-- Malcolm Forbes University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
- Henry Kissinger Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and
believing you've witnessed the second coming.
-- Guy Kawasaki L Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
-- Aldous Huxley L
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as
though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
-- John F. Kennedy A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
-- William Temple >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx L When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall
looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright As always, victory finds a hundred fathers but defeat is an orphan.
-- Count Galeazzo Ciano, The Ciano Diaries "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) L
"Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
-- Henry Ford Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
-- Boies Penrose, 1931 You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be
sacrificed to expediency.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden L And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.
-- The Beatles, The last lyric of their last song A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally
stopping before it gets there.
-- Agnes Repplier "That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves." (Thomas Jefferson) L
