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The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
-- Winston Churchill The English country gentleman galloping after a fox--the unspeakable in full pursuit of the
uneatable.
-- Oscar Wilde "I think people resist freedom because they're afraid of the unknown. But it's ironic....That unknown was once very well known. It's where are souls belong....The only solution is to confront them--co "Where there's a marriage without love there will be love without marriage." (Benjamin Franklin) You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
- Sacha Guitry M In endowing us with memory, nature has revealed to us a truth utterly unimaginable to the
unreflective creation, the truth of immortality....The most ideal human passion is love, which is
also the m "Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty." (George Washington) "That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves." (Thomas Jefferson) M
MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two
slaves, making in all, two.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
-- Marvin Kitman I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor "Conform and be dull." (J. Frank Doble) If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile.
-- Lynda Barry M If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavours to live the life which
one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
-- Henry David Thoreau The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with
the wish to teach himself.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just
flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around M
Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.
-- William Shakespeare, King Henry the Sixth Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is
something everybody believes, except the person who made it.
-- Albert Einstein, attributed Is there life before death?
-- Belfast Graffito Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by
committee meetings.
-- George F. Will, journalist, political commentator, 1994 M I want to die in my sleep like my friend.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
car.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit." (Aristotle) "I think all great innovations are built on rejections." (Louis-Ferdinand Céline) M
"I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mou "Some people must go to extremes to get the world in balance for themselves. Some can't bear bright lights, so wherever they go they search for the dark; they turn the lights down, anything to sustain I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." (Oscar Wilde) M Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.
-- Thornton Wilder [You reporters] should have printed what he meant, not what he said.
-- Earl Bush, press aide to Richard Daley There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one
of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
-- George Bernard Shaw M
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
-- Jim Backus This world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
-- Horace Walpole Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) "A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) M The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with
the wish to teach himself.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent "Well begun is half done." (Aristotle) M
Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.
-- H. L. Mencken If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?
-- Albert Einstein I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde It is absurd to divide people into good or bad. People are either charming or tedious.
-- Oscar Wilde Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry M The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same
joke and still feel lonely.
-- T. S. Eliot A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.
-- Charles Evans Hughes "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) M
"I am a part of all that I have met." (Alfred Lord Tennyson, 1809-1892, English poet) Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of
poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-- John Cage Giving a man space is like giving a dog a computer: the chances are he will not use it wisely.
-- Bette-Jane Raphael I would have made a good Pope.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte M "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any
antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock You can observe a lot by watching.
-- Yogi Berra M
blah "An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion." ( The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
-- Sidney Goff "Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." (Dylan Thomas) "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) M Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
- Isaac Asimov Politics have no relation to morals.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli "Common sense and education are highly compatible; in fact, neither is worth much without the other." (Donald G. Smith) M
The covers of this book are too far apart.
-- Ambrose Bierce Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford "It is awfully easy to be hard-boiled about everything in the daytime, but at night it is another thing." (Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises) Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
-- B.F. Skinner We have been friends together in sunshine and in shade.
-- Caroline Norton M "Well begun is half done." (Aristotle) Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
-- George Jean Nathan The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.
-- Winston Churchill M
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create
it herself.
- Anais Nin Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
-- Semisonic, Closing Time The coziness between church and state is good for the state and bad for the church.
-- G. K. Chesterton Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
-- Stephen Leacock My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way. M A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman
is one who can find such a man.
-- Lana Turner Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own
language and forthwith it is something entirely different.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. we are for the most part
more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.
-- Thoreau M
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
- Buckminster "There is nothing more fearful than ignorance in action." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832, Criticisms, Reflections and Maxims) "Everywhere one seeks to produce meaning, to make the world signify, to render it visible. We are not, however, in danger of lacking meaning; quite the contrary, we are gorged with meaning and it is k Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words M A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery of honour; so belike is that.
-- Shakespeare, William Marriage is the one subject on which all women agree and all men disagree.
-- Oscar Wilde Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley
Temple could do it at the age of four.
-- Katharine Hepburn M
