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What's new? Most of my wife. If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get
married.
-- Katharine Hepburn Marriage is like a cage--one sees the birds outside desperate to get in and those inside equally
desparate to get out.
-- Di Peatlins "Goodwill is the only asset that competition cannot undersell or destroy." (Mrshall Field, businessman and philanthropist) It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde O "Conscience and cowardice are really the same things. Conscience is the trade-name of the firm. That is all." (Oscar Wilde) There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the
instrument plays itself.
-- Johann Sebastian Bach I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
-- Will Rogers O
Creativity is piercing the mundane to find the marvelous.
-- Bill Moyers Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.
-- Thomas Szasz "Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
-- General George Patton O "Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one." (Vladimir Nabokov) "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." (Charles Caleb Colton) Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche O
Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork
picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.
-- Tom Stoppard Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar Every child is born a genius.
-- R. Buckminster Fuller I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to
do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.
-- Anonymous O The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
- Honore de Balzac O
In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
- George Burns The first duty of love is to listen.
-- Paul Tillich "A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." (William Shakespeare) I like nonsense -- it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way
of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope...and that enables you to laugh at all O If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not a poet
enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent p Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing
they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken Thought is action in rehearsal.
-- Sigmund Freud O
If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.
-- Chekhov Happy are those who dream dreams and are willing to pay the price to make them come true.
-- Anon. 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) O blah "Each friend represents a world in us; a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only in meeting them that a new world is born." (Anais Nin) "My daughter has never forgiven me. for what, I don't know, because for years, she won't speak to me. She blackens my name in the press and makes me think abortion is an excellent idea." (Klaus Kinsk Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced. O
The nourishment is palatable.
-- Millard Fillmore, dying words You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
-- Thomas Jefferson A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
-- Robert Frost The sun never sets on the British empire because Britain is in the east and the sun sets in the
west.
-- Unknown history student O The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal consistency of the women who
love me.
-- George Bernard Shaw In the blithe days of honeymoon,
With Kate's allurements smitten,
I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon,
And call'd her dearest kitten.
But now my kitten's grown a cat,
And cross like other wives.
"Careful?! Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a coat hanger while I was still in the womb?" (Trey Parker) O
The only thing you will ever be able to say in the so-called 'social' sciences is: "some do, some
don't."
-- Ernest Rutherford We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
-- Agnes Repplier In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work There are trivial truths, and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
-- Neils Bohr Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
-- Colin Greene O blah "This is the hardest of all: to close the open hand out of love, and keep modest as a giver." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to
be perfectly deaf.
-- Oscar Wilde "When you have nothing to say, say nothing." (Charles Caleb Colton) O
"College: two hundred people reading same book. An obvious mistake. Two hundred people can read two hundred books." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Silence is argument carried out by other means.
- ErnestoCheGuevara Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-
proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe
is The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde There's nothing wrong with having nothing to say -- unless you insist on saying it.
-- Anonymous O No other success can compensate for failure in the home.
-- David O. McKay, Encyclopedia of Mormonism, Advice to parents at General Conference of he
LDS Church, April, 1964 Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali O
He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that.
-- John Stuart Mill My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
-- Abraham Lincoln The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
-- G. K. Chesterton You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-- T.S. Eliot O "Defeat the fear of death and welcome the death of fear." (G. Gordon Liddy) The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man's observation, not overturning
it.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing.
Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands.
-- Oscar Wilde O
I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. When people have no other tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too.
When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing
extraordinary Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov It is always right that a man should be able to render a reason for the faith that is within him.
-- Sydney Smith O Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899 A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. O
Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are
capable of being.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your
temper or self-confidence.
-- Robert Frost "Every now and then say, 'What the fu(c)k.' 'What the fu(c)k' gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future." (Curtis Armstrong, Risky Business, 1983) O Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband bein' big enough to keep his mouth
shut, to step back and see where his wife is wrong.
-- Archie Bunker, character on "All in the Family, Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. O
