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A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks I am beginning to suspect all elaborate and special systems of education. They seem to me to be
built upon the supposition that every child is a kind of idiot who must be taught to think.
-- Anne S I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) U A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take
her off his hands.
-- Sacha Guitry A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Robert Frost (1874-1963) A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
-- Mae West U
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
- Carl Sagan "The mark of our time is its revulsion against imposed patterns." (Marshall McLuhan) I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian What does not kill me makes me stronger.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.
-- Confucius U Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it
pure ignorance?
-- Holbrook Jackson He who has a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.
-- Sigmund Freud U
"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being
brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.
-- Cynthia H University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
- Henry Kissinger The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia You will marry into an Indian tribe and become one big Hopi family. U "Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop." (Usman Asif) If God had meant us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about rock 'n roll." (Shigeru Miyamoto, game designer for Nintendo) U
Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
-- Anon. Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way
around Chinatown.
-- Woody Allen Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
-- Robert A. Humphrey U All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost;
-- J.R.R. Tolkein "Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future." (Paul Boese) Journalism consists largely in saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones
was alive.
-- G. K. Chesterton U
"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." (Albert Einstein) Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M. C. Reed Thank God - every morning when you get up - that you have something to do which must be
done, whether you like it or not. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you
a hundre We do not remember days; we remember moments.
-- Anonymous I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
- Frederick (II) the Great U Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-- Abraham Lincoln Nothing average ever stood as a monument to progress. When progress is looking for a partner it
doesn't turn to those who believe they are only average. It turns instead to those who are forever
sea U
The artist alone sees spirits. But after he has told of their appearing to him, everybody sees them.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-- T.S. Eliot While we are postponing, life speeds by.
- Seneca (3BC - 65AD) If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis "I am interested in anything about revolt, disorder , chaos--especially activity that seems to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom ... Rather than starting inside, I start ou U I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again.
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
-- Bob Perelman There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at
heart, you can't take part. And you've got to put your body upon the gears and upon the wheels,
upon the lev U
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being.
-- Benjamin Disraeli The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault.
- Henry Kissinger There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
-- Robert A. Humphrey U Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own
language and forthwith it is something entirely different.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Gandhi I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability.
-- Oscar Wilde U
Your every voter, as surely as your chief magistrate, exercises a public trust.
-- Grover Cleveland Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
- Lewis Perelman "Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." (G. Randolf) A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
- Bertrand Russell U For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart U
"How can we know the dancer from the dance?" (William Butler Yeats) "See - one side of my face is gentle and kind, incapable of anything but love of my fellow man. The other side, the other profile, is cruel and predatory and evil, incapable of anything but lusts and Ridicule is generally made use of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking
everything praiseworthy in human life.
-- Joseph Addison When one find's oneself in a hole of one's own making, it is a good time to examine the quality of
the workmanship.
-- John Renmerde I must follow the people. Am I not their leader?
-- Benjamin Disraeli U If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner "When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools." (William Shakespeare) The sun never sets on the British empire because Britain is in the east and the sun sets in the
west.
-- Unknown history student U
"Truth lies not only in a dream, but in many dreams." (Pier Paolo Pasolini, Italian poet, novelist and filmmaker) I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
-- Mother Teresa Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
-- Mark Twain He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
- Sir Winston Churchill I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer U Great ability develops and reveals itself increasingly with every new assignment. Baltasar
Gracian The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
- Henry Louis Mencken Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the
second, "For my best friend."
-- Anonymous U
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
- Jean-Paul Sartre "One of the great dangers in having a career is getting bored." (Itzhak Perlman) The story of a love is not important - what is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps
the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity.
-- Helen Hayes "The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn." (David Russell) There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good
marriage
-- Martin Luther U Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
-- Anthony Burgess My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music.
-- Vladimir Nabokov Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you
together, but do so with all your heart.
-- Marcus Aurelius U
