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My other wife is beautiful. The mind has exactly the same power as the hands: not merely to grasp the world, but to change
it.
-- Colin Wilson "Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace. If you have a single-minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected..." (Chuck Jones) "Gifts must affect the receiver to the point of shock." (Walter Benjamin) Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.
-- Mark B. Cohen W "They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." (Andy Warhol) "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor W
"Everybody knows that if you are too careful, you become so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something." (Gertrude Stein) What do you take me for, an idiot?
- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy All human actions are equivalent... and... all are on principle doomed...
-- Jean-Paul Sartre, "Being and Nothingness" "Education must have an end in view, for it is not an end in itself." (Sybil Marshall) There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing, and that's all you'll ever find."
-- Robert Flaherty W Everywhere I go, I'm asked if the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle
enough of them.
-- Flannery O'Connor Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M. C. Reed The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill W
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
-- Jules Renard "Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism." (Dave Barry) By the time (the Leaning Tower of Pisa) was 10% built, everyone knew it would be a total
disaster. But the investment was so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its completion, it cost
a fortune W "How can we know the dancer from the dance?" (William Butler Yeats) "Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out next morning it was
someone else.
-- Rogers W
My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Intelligence has nothing to do with politics.
-- Londo Molari "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) W We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
- Vince Lombardi There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and
why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inex The whole art of teaching is only the art of awakening the natural curiosity of young minds for the
purpose of satisfying it afterwards.
-- Anatole France W
The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
-- Frank J. Dobie, A Texan in England, 1945 Live truth instead of professing it.
-- Elbert Hubbard An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
-- Niels Bohr America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to
degeneration without the usual intervention of civilization.
-- George Clemenceau Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
-- Rita Rudner W "The only way to have friends is to be one." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about "short" and
"cheap"?
-- Phyllis Diller Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe W
When Baby's cries grew hard to bear I popped him in the Frigidaire. I never would have done so if
I'd known that he'd be frozen stiff. My wife said, "George, I'm so unhappy! Our darling's now
comple It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
- H. G. Wells One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good
reputation.
-- Oscar Wilde If we don't change the direction we are going,
We are likely to end up where we are heading.
-- Chinese saying W Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." (Albert Einstein) "The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it." (Abbie Hoffman) W
A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. -- Oscar Wilde Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-
inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least
expect i "The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right." (Mark Twain) "Everything in my life has been determined by mistakes." (Gene Wilder) W Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.
-- Sigmund Freud In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
-- Thomas Jefferson Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken W
"No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Oregon Democratic Senate candidate Tom Bruggere, in describing his support for
comprehensive health care during a candidates' forum, said he supported "erection-to-
resurrection" coverage. He later a Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
-- Shane Leslie I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
-- Wilson Mizner W We do not remember days; we remember moments.
-- Anonymous The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.
-- Mother Teresa I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
-- Bill Hoest W
The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe If a thing is worth doing at all, it is worth doing badly.
-- Gustav Holst, on amateur music-making "College: two hundred people reading same book. An obvious mistake. Two hundred people can read two hundred books." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are
capable of being.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom, and being one's own person is its ultimate reward.
-- Patricia Sampson W Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
-- Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) W
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
-- Peter Ustinov It's no credit to anyone to work to hard.
-- Ed Howe When you're experimenting you have to try so many things before you choose what you want,
and you may go days getting nothing but exhaustion.
-- Fred Astaire "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." (Groucho Marx) W "Feeding is a very important ritual for me. I don't trust people who don't like to eat." (Gina Gershon) You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.
-- American Proverb Wind is to fire like distance is to love; it extinguishes the small and enflames the great.
-- Anonymous W
"To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend." (Jacques Derrida, French 'deconstructionist') The difference between a man who faces death for the sake of an idea and an imitator who goes
in search of martyrdom is that the former expresses his idea most fully in death while the latter
really I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the
advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults of the first.
-- Benjamin Franklin Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
-- Stephen Leacock Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-- LaRouchefoucauld W I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
- Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943 Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
- Georg Lichtenberg When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is
when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard W