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A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including:
* Both of your socks should always be the same color
* Or they should at least both be fairly dark
-- Dave Barry The real questions are the ones that obtrude upon your consciousness whether you like it or not,
the ones that make your mind start vibrating like a jackhammer, the ones that you 'come to terms
with I didn't accept it. I received it.
-- Richard Allen, National Security Advisor to President Reagan, explaining the $1000 in cash and
two watches he was given by two Japanese journalists after he hel M Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
-- Sun Tzu He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.
-- Terry Cohen Unfortunately, the media have trouble distinguishing between real science and propaganda
cross-dressed as science.
-- Linda Bowles, political columnist M
Do not assume that she who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and
quiet words that sometimes do you good. Her life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that
remains fa I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to
know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
- Clarence Darrow, "... adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, quoted in his obituary, Time) Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law "Conforming is only acceptable when you conform with a nonconformist." (John A. Simone Jr.) M "Those who hear not the music think the dancers mad." (Anonymous) The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright M
Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 May you live happily ever after with a poor, ugly, shrewish wife. Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.
-- Samuel Butler I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
-- Mae West "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine M "A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." (Claude Rains, as Mr. Dryden, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) The best defense is a good offense.
-- Anonymous We have drugs to make women speak, but none to keep them silent.
-- Anatole France M
Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
-- Michael Levine, Lessons at the Halfway Point The health of the people is really the foundation upon which all their happiness and all their
powers as a State depend.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.
-- Anonymous Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort M I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
-- William Hazlitt "The intellect is always fooled by the heart." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) M
"All our best men are laughed at in this nightmare land." (Jack Keroac) Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.
-- Aristotle "We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
-- George Santayana M I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
-- Douglas Adams "By seeing the seed of failure in every success, we remain humble. By seeing the seed of success in every failure we remain hopeful." (Mel Ziegler, founder of Banana Republic) In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
-- Thomas Jefferson M
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
-- Frank L. Visco, How to Write Good Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
- Cicero M "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) The Republicans have a new healthcare proposal: Just say NO to illness!
-- Mark Russell The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pens&eactue;es, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer M
The real test of friendship is: Can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy
together those moments of life that are utterly simple? They are the moments people looks back
on at We are the echo of the future.
-- W. S. Merwin The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of
them, it's considered to be your style.
-- Fred Astaire Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D The average person thinks he isn't.
- Father Larry Lorenzoni M Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) "I put on an act sometimes, and people think I'm insensitive. Really, it's like a kind of armor because I'm too sensitive. If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I' M
blah bl "The better the state is established, the fainter is humanity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
-- Euripides To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
-- Karen Sunde "The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves." (William Hazlitt) If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. -- Chekhov M "Now that we have everything we need, we discover that there is almost nothing that we have that we want." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) A weed is no more than a flower in disguise.
-- James Lowell "You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." (Albert Camus, The Fall) M
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper "Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." (Erica Jong) True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is
always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsch I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz "I couldn't find the sports car of my dreams, so I built it myself." (Dr. Ferdinand Porsche) M "One pretty good definition of college is that it's a place where people are made to read difficult books." (Jonathan Franzen) "Those who hear not the music think the dancers mad." (Anonymous) Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe. The
premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
-- Kelvin Throop I M
When people have no other tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're
entitled to a little fun first.
-- Anonymous Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-- H. L. Mencken The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.
-- Aaron Machado Asking politicians to vote themselves out of power is like asking rabbits not to multiply, it ain't
natural.
-- Bob Beckel, on term limits, CBS This Morning, 3/30/95 M "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." (Albert Einstein) Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil
underneath.
-- Jacob Braude "A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you." (Bert Leston Taylor) M
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley "There is nothing more fearful than ignorance in action." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832, Criticisms, Reflections and Maxims) "Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing." (Oscar Wilde) Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe M If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then eight. Then sixteen. Then thirty-two. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring at all." (John Cage) Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
-- General Douglas MacArthur "So little done, so much to do." (Cecil Rhodes) M
