blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you
together, but do so with all your heart.
-- Marcus Aurelius Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them
tender.
-- Mary Buckley Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
-- Wynn Catlin, also attributed to Will Rogers I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including:
* Both of your socks should always be the same color
* Or they should at least both be fairly dark
-- Dave Barry U Value your words. Each one may be the last.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart We have only one person to blame, and that's each other.
-- Barry Beck, New York Ranger, on who started a fight furing a hockey game U
"The perception of beauty is a moral test." (Henry David Thoreau) Someday is not a day of the week.
-- Anon. If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item.
-- Anonymous I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never
be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.
-- Abraham Lincoln, in a letter to U In the late 1600s the finest instruments originated from three rural families whose workshops
were side by side in the Italian village of Cremona. First were the Amatis, and outside their shop
hung Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
-- Martin Mull U
The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali I want to die in my sleep like my friend.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
car.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them
tender.
-- Mary Buckley Joy is but the sign that creative emotion is fulfilling its purpose.
-- Charles Du Bos "Our lives are repetitious shams--every single day a simulacrum of the previous day. So for Man, he is out to pepper his daily activities with different things--he's fighting against boredom." (Matth U Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature
machine gun.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero To love another person is to help them love God.
-- Søren Kierkegaard U
Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau ( Anything too stupid to be said, is sung.
-- Voltaire Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
-- Judith Viorst "Deep down, no one really believes they have a right to live. But this death sentence generally stays tucked away, hidden beneath the difficulty of living. If that difficulty is removed from time to t The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same
time, and still retain the ability to function.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald U Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the
custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a
brand new ending.
-- Anonymous U
"Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience." (George Bernard Shaw) When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.
-- Charles Evans Hughes U If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis "It is the nature of a man as he grows older, a small bridge in time, to protest against change, particularly change for the better." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) "Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." (George Bernard Shaw) U
"There is no sin except stupidity." (Oscar Wilde) Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 "Fear is the dark room where the Devil develops his negatives." (Gary Busey) The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
-- George Bernard Shaw "It is a curious thing that God learned Greek when he wished to turn author--and that he did not learn it better." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) U History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have
had any experience with them.
-- H. L. Mencken U
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is
not a conservative, has no brains.
-- Winston Churchill Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.
-- Chinese Proverb Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food.
-- Anonymous "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead, 1901-78) Keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.
-- Roger Babson U "Everyone is a bore to someone. That is unimportant. The thing to avoid is being a bore to oneself." (Gerald Brenan) "Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate,
the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
-- Rainer Maria Ril U
I skate to where the puck is going to be, not to where it has been.
-- Wayne Gretzky You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
-- Henry Ford All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
-- Christopher Morley "Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) U My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music.
-- Vladimir Nabokov There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
-- Benjamin Franklin Immature love says: "I love you because I need you." Mature love says: "I need you because I
love you."
-- Erich Fromm U
Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're
entitled to a little fun first.
-- Anonymous I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people
themselves.
-- August Strindberg Happiness, it is said, is seldom found by those who seek it, and never by those who seek it for
themselves.
-- F. Emerson Andrews The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.
-- Winston Churchill If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings.
-- Lisa Moriyama U Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute. Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop
questioning.
-- Albert Einstein Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt U
"Everything in my life has been determined by mistakes." (Gene Wilder) "To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die." (Thomas Campbell) I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
-- Clifton Fadiman You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton U Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
- Isaac Asimov I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.
-- Alexandre Dumas pere "The market is not an invention of capitalism. It has existed for centuries. It is an invention of civilization." (Mikhail Gorbachev, June 8, 1990) U
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with
the buttered side down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the 2 will hover,
"Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) I am in total control, but don't tell my wife. No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
-- Aldous Huxley U Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. -- C Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more
experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat
soiled or torn? He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
- Sir Winston Churchill U
