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"That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. "Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism." (Dave Barry) I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen I still live.
-- Daniel Webster, dying words Books Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. Tauzin backs term limits -- But he thinks it's a bad idea.
-- Headline, story in the New Orleans Times-Picayune, Feb 20, 1995 "I've decided something: Commercial things really do stink. As soon as it becomes commercial for a mass market it really stinks." (Andy Warhol, The Andy Warhol Diaries, 1989) Books
Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
-- George Bernard Shaw If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.
-- Maya Angelou More light!
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, dying words I am not young enough to know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story Books "One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being.
-- Benjamin Disraeli If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
- Mario Andretti Books
The society of women is the element of good manners.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours." (Dale "Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience." (George Bernard Shaw) They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to
run his, either.
-- Anonymous Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais Books "In literary criticism the critic has no choice but to make over the victim of his attention into something the size and shape of himself." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so
brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind.
-- Cindy Crawford, supermodel Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one Books
Never regard study as a duty, but as the enviable opportunity to learn to know the liberating
influence of beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal joy and to the profit of the
commun It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-- Gore Vidal My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.
-- Margaret Mead Books Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show "Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Books
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock Why doesn't she like me? Is it my hair, my overbite, the fact that I've worn the same shirt and
shorts for the last four years?
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated tele If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model.
Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush...
-- Dawn French A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.
-- Dean Acheson The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their
attitudes of mind.
-- William James Books If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the
faculty of laughter.
-- Joseph Addison Every flower must grow through dirt.
-- Anonymous Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
-- Henry Ford Books
"God's creatures, great and small ... eat them one, eat them all." (John A. Simone Sr.) Love matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn
themselves to a life of vinegar.
-- Countess of Blessington Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) "When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost." (Billy Graham) Books Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass
produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun Chance is always powerful. - Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it,
there will be a fish.
-- Ovid Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder Books
"Hold a true friend with both your hands." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 "Better to be deprived of food for three days than tea for one." (Chinese Proverb) The mathematician lives long and lives young; the wings of his soul do not early drop off, nor do
its pores become clogged with the earthy particles blown from the dusty highways of vulgar life.
-- What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
-- Abraham Lincoln Books You will marry into an Indian tribe and become one big Hopi family. Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
-- Mark Twain Don't look back -- something might be gaining on you.
-- Satchel Paige Books
Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche "A thing of beauty is a joy forever." (John Keats) He who kisses the joy is it flies lives in eternity's sunrise
-- William Blake There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you
yourself have altered.
-- Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
-- Josh Billings Books They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
-- Antonio Porchi "It is awfully easy to be hard-boiled about everything in the daytime, but at night it is another thing." (Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises) "Growth in wisdom can be measured precisely by decline in bile." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human) Books
Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
-- Helen Keller "Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain." (Johann Christian Friedrich von Schiller, 1759-1805, The Maid of Orleans. Act iii. Sc. 6.) "Courageous, untroubled, mocking and violent--that is what Wisdom wants us to be. Wisdom is a woman, and loves only a warrior." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Love may be a dream but marriage is a nightmare.
-- Joan Collins Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any
antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock Books "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously u An economic forecaster is like a cross-eyed javelin thrower: they don't win many accuracy
contests, but they keep the crowd's attention.
-- Anonymous Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
-- Gail Godwin Books
The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
-- Publilius Syrus "I met someone on the street who said wasn't it great that we're going to have a movie star for president, that it was so Pop, and (laughs) when you think about it like that, it is great, it's so Amer Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-- Oscar Wilde All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer "The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it." (Abbie Hoffman) Books Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to
happen to him.
-- John Barrymore - last words We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from
ourselves.
-- Tom Robbins Everywhere I go, I'm asked if the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle
enough of them.
-- Flannery O'Connor Books
We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
-- Winston Churchill Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
- Buckminster "Frank and explicit; that is the right line to take when you wish to conceal your own mind and to confuse the minds of others." (Benjamin Disraeli, Sybil) Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Books Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.
-- John Heisman A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe A multiple personality is in a certain sense normal.
-- George H. Mead Books
