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"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day." (Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach) Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like
what you are getting.
-- Anonymous Icky icky icky icky fKANG zoop-boing n zowzyin...
-- The Knights who so recently said "Nee!", Monty Python, British comedy television show Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
- Gail Godwin "Learn from the mistakes of others--you can never live long enough to make them all yourself." (John Luther) Macintosh "I put on an act sometimes, and people think I'm insensitive. Really, it's like a kind of armor because I'm too sensitive. If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I' "The masses are far more likely to believe a big lie than several small ones." (Adolf Hitler) I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.
-- Socrates Macintosh
If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
-- Bob Edwards Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
-- Milton Friedman I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted.
-- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic
wastes to Third Wo The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
- Lucille S. Harper The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to
heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need
more supervision.
-- Lynn Macintosh No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
-- Anon. Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between.
-- David Letterman Someday is not a day of the week.
-- Anon. Macintosh
And life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be.
-- Grandma Moses Practice random acts of kindness and sensless acts of beauty.
-- Adair Lara Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.
- Sacha Guitry There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good
marriage
-- Martin Luther Macintosh The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
-- Roger Simon I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like
a black mistake.
-- D. H. Lawrence >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx Macintosh
A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton "When once you have tasted flight you will always walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward: for there you have been and there you will always be." (Henry Van Dyke) Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
-- Buddha Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are
capable of being.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one." (Arthur C. Clarke) Macintosh Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of
poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-- John Cage Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll, (seen attributed to "R.S. Ingersoll" - a typo?) Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of
the other person.
-- Mark Twain Macintosh
Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
-- Buddha We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were
reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing,
and It may be that the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -- but that is the way
to bet.
-- Damon Runyan He who laughs last thinks slowest.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of
opportunity.
-- George Bernard Shaw Macintosh Our schools have been scientifically designed to prevent over-education from happening. [...] The
average American (should be) content with their humble role in life, because they're not tempted
to Generations to come will find it difficult to believe that a man such as Gandhi ever walked the
face of this earth.
-- Albert Einstein "The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right." (Mark Twain) Macintosh
In the end, everything is a gag.
-- Charlie Chaplin Better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.
-- David Chambless Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.
-- Terry Cohen Macintosh "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
-- Adela Rogers St. John Practice random acts of kindness and sensless acts of beauty.
-- Adair Lara Macintosh
Natural ability without education has more often attained to glory and virtue than education
without natural ability.
Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC) If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.
-- H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Treasure Book, on wisdom All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer The great thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are going.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-- Will Rogers Macintosh blah "There is a melancholy that stems from greatness." (Sébastien-Roch Nicolas Chamfort, 1740/41-1794) As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are
certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill Macintosh
"Children spell love...T-I-M-E." (Dr. Anthony P. Witham) I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call
me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.
-- Rebecca West, See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
-- Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo Give the people not hell, but hope and courage.
-- John Murray There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the
outward behavior.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Macintosh The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault.
- Henry Kissinger "Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking." (H. Jackson Brown (Jr.) A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
-- Buke Ellington Macintosh
"Ah! Don't say you agree with me. When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong." (Oscar Wilde) "The masses are far more likely to believe a big lie than several small ones." (Adolf Hitler) Not to anticipate is already to moan.
-- Leonardo da Vinci Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise. Macintosh We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
-- Winston Churchill "Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) This world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
-- Horace Walpole Macintosh
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Like a prune, you are not getting any better looking, but you are getting sweeter.
-- N. D. Stice If we don't change the direction we are going,
We are likely to end up where we are heading.
-- Chinese saying Macintosh It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
- Mark Twain Love is friendship set on fire.
- Jeremy Taylor To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
- Oscar Wilde Macintosh
The great tragedy of science, the slaying of a beautiful theory by an ugly fact.
-- Thomas Henry Huxley "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this
is true.
-- James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.
-- Chekhov The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali Macintosh Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words I will try to follow the advice that a university president once gave a prospective commencement
speaker. "Think of yourself as the body at an Irish wake" he said. "They need you in order to have
th Macintosh
