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Anything too stupid to be said, is sung.
-- Voltaire A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.
-- George Bernard Shaw "One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
-- Abraham Lincoln Adult Education Love is stronger than justice.
-- Sting Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry "College: two hundred people reading same book. An obvious mistake. Two hundred people can read two hundred books." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Adult Education
"REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion." (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary) ... it is certain that the real function of art is to increase our self-consciousness; to make us more
aware of what we are, and therefore of what the universe in which we live really is. And since
Where there is an unknowable there is a promise.
-- Thornton Wilder "Sometimes I think it's another sign of the sad necessity of our crowded, lonely lives, an urgent hopeless reaching out to touch something real, a deep hunger for something authentic when everything s I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
-- William Butler Yeats, from "He wishes for the cloths of heaven" Adult Education You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax--tomorrow you'll be afraid to
cough.
-- Pearl Williams The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. Adult Education
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and
begin slitting throats.
- Henry Louis Mencken A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos "Death solves all problems--no man, no problem." (Josef Stalin) "I'm the artist formally known as Beck. I have a genius wig. When I put that wig on, then the true genius emerges. I don't have enough hair to be a genius. I think you have to have hair going everywhe MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two
slaves, making in all, two.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Adult Education Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein Adult Education
"That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves." (Thomas Jefferson) "We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) To decide, to be at the level of choice, is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of
your life.
-- Abbie M. Dale To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
-- Tom Robbins The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. Adult Education Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it,
Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me
de A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
-- St. Augustine The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein Adult Education
It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very amusing. "The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason." (John Cage) For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely
unnatural condition.
-- Robert Briffault "One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
-- Baskins Adult Education If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.
-- H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Treasure Book, on wisdom Study men, not historians.
-- Harry Truman I drink no more than a sponge.
-- Francis Rabelais, Works. Book i. Chap. v. Adult Education
No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack He who awaits much can expect little.
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to
be perfectly deaf.
-- Oscar Wilde "Nobody minds having what is too good for them." (Jane Austen) "Everybody knows that if you are too careful, you become so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something." (Gertrude Stein) Adult Education If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber "I've never let my school interfere with my education." (Mark Twain) War is a profession by which a man cannot live honorably; an employment by which the soldier, if
he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli Adult Education
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars
-- Les Brown "Posterity: you will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve your freedom. I hope you will make good use of it." (John Quincy Adams) "Think off-center." (George Carlin) To teach is to learn twice.
-- Joseph Joubert The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
-- General George Patton Adult Education What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that
cannot be taken from you.
-- Oscar Wilde Adult Education
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
- William Jennings Bryan The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted
in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism.
-- Heidi Hartmann, The Unha Soul meets soul on lovers lips.
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.
-- Socrates "An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) Adult Education Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever. The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
- Lucille S. Harper He who laughs, lasts.
-- Mary Pettibone Poole Adult Education
They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the
House Bank scandal Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen.
-- Albert Einstein I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
-- Virginia Woolf "Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Adult Education Love is blind -- marriage is the eye-opener.
-- Pauline Thomason "Liberty has never come from the government. Liberty has always come from the subjects of it. The history of liberty is a history of resistance. The history of liberty is a history of limitations of g If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken Adult Education
No, that is the great fallacy; the wisdom of old men. They do not grow wise. They grow careful." (Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell To Arms) Music is the art of thinking with sounds.
-- Jules Combarieu A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
- Helen Rowland "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- Irvin S. Cobb Adult Education blah bl "Less is more." (Robert Browning) "The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all." (Harry S. Truman) The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does
not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost Adult Education
Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up
our minds to walk boldly through them.
-- Orison Swett Marden It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
-- Woody Allen "An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) "That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves." (Thomas Jefferson) Age does not make us childish, as some say; it finds us true children.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Adult Education A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn; it can be stabbed to death by a joke
or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow.
-- Charles Brower If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
-- Woody Allen Adult Education
