Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
-- Anonymous A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.
-- Phillip Brooks "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf England Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
-- Colin Greene I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
-- Robert Frost England
If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you but the
bureaucracy won't.
-- Hyman Rickover There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant "One may sometimes tell a lie, but the grimace that accompanies it tells the truth." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) England Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
- Honore de Balzac When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is
when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard By the time (the Leaning Tower of Pisa) was 10% built, everyone knew it would be a total
disaster. But the investment was so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its completion, it cost
a fortune England
How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it.
-- Alexandre Dumas fils "I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." (John Cage) When one find's oneself in a hole of one's own making, it is a good time to examine the quality of
the workmanship.
-- John Renmerde "The key to wisdom is knowing all the right questions." (John A. Simone Jr.) This world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
-- Horace Walpole England If you can't convince them, confuse them.
-- Harry S. Truman A human being is a part of the whole, called by us Universe, a part limited in time and space. He
experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest--a kind of
optic I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor England
"The happy people are failures because they are on such good terms with themselves they don't give a damn." (Agatha Christie) "Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at." (John Berger) I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to
know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
- Clarence Darrow, Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a
holding pattern over Philadelphia.
-- Judith Viorst England What's new? Most of my wife. The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life
of another.
-- Helen Keller England
"Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.
-- Emily Dickinson "In married life three is company and two is none." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) "I praise loudly. I blame softly." (Catherine the Great) England The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." (Joan Rivers) Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante England
Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.
-- Albert Einstein "Children spell love...T-I-M-E." (Dr. Anthony P. Witham) "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) We never live; we are always in the expectation of living.
-- Voltaire Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow England It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.
-- Peter De Vries A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne There is no future in any job. The future lies in the man who holds the job.
-- George Crane England
If I had been around when Rubens was painting, I would have been revered as a fabulous model.
Kate Moss? Well, she would have been the paintbrush...
-- Dawn French Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find
out how to do it.
-- Theodore Roosevelt The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every
morning and say, "How's the President?"
-- Will Rogers Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
-- Samuel Butler The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
- Henry Louis Mencken England Conversation, fastidious Goddess, loves blood better than brick, and feasts most subtly on the
human will.
-- Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Emerson, Ralph Waldo Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
-- George Bernard Shaw England
Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions.
-- Anonymous That's the nature of research--you don't know what in hell you're doing.
-- 'Doc' Edgerton Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
-- Anonymous Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp There is nothing more notable in Socrates than that he found time, when he was an old man, to
learn music and dancing, and thought it time well spent.
-- Michel de Montaigne England Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for the appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George Bernard Shaw The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
-- Marvin Kitman England
Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
-- Francis Bacon "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
- Cicero If we do not maintain Justice, Justice will not maintain us.
-- Francis Bacon The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia England Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of
opportunity.
-- George Bernard Shaw "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) More than kisses, letters mingle souls.
-- John Donne England
An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
-- Robert A. Humphrey We have to keep trying things we're not sure we can pull off. If we just do the things we know we
can do... you don't grow as much. You gotta take those chances on making those big mistakes.
-- Cybi Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the
top.
-- Ed Abbey The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not be caught dead in otherwise.
-- Roger Simon Anything too stupid to be said, is sung.
-- Voltaire England Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. "The devil's agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles) "So little done, so much to do." (Cecil Rhodes) England
Sign in a marriage counselor's window: "Out to lunch - Think it over." Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. England I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
-- General Douglas MacArthur I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer England
